Between Gray And Black
by TheZanyBookworm
Summary: Beatrice Prior had to be the one of the Prior children that stayed once her brother left Abnegation.The government lets her initiation last only a week, so her and her family can grieve for their only son. She knows she was never meant for this life, and when she meets Four, he just reminds her about the life she could have had every time she sees him.(Renamed from The Fire Within)
1. Chapter 1

My abnegation Initiation only lasts a week. That is due to the fact that my brother left for the Erudite, and the Abnegation leaders want to give my family time to think about his loss. They figure I must be selfless if I stayed with my family.

My initiation ended early for me to give me and my family time to think, So that is what I will do. But I can't think here, in this dull room. I am in my old room in my old house that my parents still live in. I packed my things yester day into a new home of my own, but I'm not used to it yet, so I came here.

I look out my room-old room's- window. It is a beutiful difference from the inside of the house, to the outside.

I can't think here. It makes me feel dreary. So then it hits me. I can go somewhere else to clear my thoughts.

I go downstairs-I run downstairs, as my family is not home- and shut the door.

I run to the place where I would have gone if I had chosen differently.

I sit near the train tracks and think. Not about how Caleb left, but Why. He must have known he didn't belong. I know I don't belong either. I sigh. I see the train coming and back up a few feet. I feel the air swipe through my face in sharp blows.

I am not meant for abnegation. I was made for dauntless. But it is too late now. It's either this or factionless.

I walk back to my own home, close the door, and head for the attic. From there, I open the window, revealing the roof of my home. I climb out and sit. The wind blows and carries a loose piece of hair over my eyes, and I leave it there, savoring the moment.

Then I have an Idea. I picked abnegation for the sake of my family. I had to be the one that stayed. I knew i couldnt be abnegation. But just because I am in abnegation, doesn't mean I can't be dauntless.

Everyday for the past few days, I have been waking up early in the morning to sit next to the tracks as the train comes by this part of the city. Not just to think, but to relax. Everyday, I come a little closer as the train zips by. Today, I sit so close, that if I put my head a few centimeters closer, the train would hit my head off.

Maybe one day I'll climb in the train. And I would go around the city. I would past merciless mart, and the bean. Maybe I would see the dauntless compound for the first time.

My job in abnegation starts off easy: Give resources to the factionless. I have backbag hanging over my shoulders. It is filled with food that the factionless are used to eating by now: beef jerky, dried fruit, some bread. Even a few jars of peanut butter. I open my bag, and take out a small pouch of dried fruit for myself. I eat one piece as I wait for the train to pass.

I hear something rustling, and I put the dried fruit train is coming.

It whooshes by, and my hair which was tied into a pony tail a few moments ago is now free, the band nowhere to be seen. My eyes widen as someone jumps from the train a few yards away. My spine is a metal rod. I am not suposed to be here. Maybe I can sneak away before he can see me. He look straight ahead. I pray he does not see me from the corners of his eyes.

I slowly back away from the train, now standing.

And his head turns. He looks at me shocked. I wonder why he would be shocked when I realize that I am wearing gray clothes next to the train tracks, and my hair is down: Not typical abnegation behavior.

Maybe I can distract him. I can act abnegation now, and he wouldn't think anything about it. He hadn't seen me watching the trains. He only saw me near them. I walk toward him one foot in front of the other carefully.

"Hello. Can I help you?" I ask him my eyes wide, my voice low, but not whispering.

He stares blankly at me before saying "Are you lost? I never saw an Abnegation girl near the tracks."

This angers me. He thinks I'm stupid enough to get lost in the city. "No." I snap, but take it back. "No, Im just here to..." To what? I ask myself. Then it comes to me.

"Im just here to give food to the factionless. Most of them come here alot." I lie. But he won't know that. He's dauntless, and they live on the other side of the city.

He frowns. "The factionless come by the trains?" He asks.

Or maybe not.

_Think Beatrice think._

"No. Most of them are near the alleys. But I thought it would be better to wait here until it's time to give them recources."

"Why?"

"I'd rather not wait in an alley where the factionless might come out." I tell him as evenly as possible. "I got up early today and decided I might as well wait here until it's time to give it to them."

"Hmm." He says, looking at me, his head tilted. Analyzing me.

"Do you need anything?" I ask. I was about to ask him why he's here, but i remembered that the abnegation arent supposed to be curious.

"Yes. Can you show me the factionless safe houses?"

I nod. A part of me is nervous about walking near him. I look at him as we walk. He's tall. My head would only reach his collar bone. He has short hair, but it's longer then abnegation hair styles. His bottom lip is full, while his upper lip is spare. His eye lashes are long, and he has blue eyes. Dark blue eyes, that captivating. A dreamy, sleeping color.

I wonder suddenly, who 'he' is. I want to ask his name. I would have, if I wasn't supposed to be nosy.

Then again, I've broken rules before. In fact, I think I've broken laws, but I'm not sure.

"What's your name?" I ask.

He looks at me, an eyebrow raised. "Pretty curious for a stiff." He says, not answering my question.

"I just asked about your name. I want to know what to call you." I say frowning.

"You don't need to call me anything." He snaps.

"But I want to know." I demand.

"Well, your going to have to deal with the fact that I'm not going to tell you.

This makes me flustered, and I just know My face is another color. I stop walking.

"I'm not showing you the safe houses if you don't tell me your name." I say, scowling.

He glares at me, and I glare back. I'm not sure, but I swear a smile plays on his lips.

He looks at me a few more minutes. "My name is Four." He says finally.

He's dauntless, and they are always doing strange things-jumping off trains, pierced body parts, dyed hair, tattoos. It shouldn't really shock me if they name there kids numbers.

I just nod, and continue walking.

"And you?" He asks. I don't answer. Beatrice is to formal. I don't think I shoud trust him yet.

He did tell me his name though. but he could have just made it up. What kind of a name is Four anyways?

I realize suddenly, that I can give a fake name too. "Tris." I tell him.

"Tris." He repeats. "That's not a Stiff name."

"Four isn't much of a name either." I say kicking a pebble. We are now a block away from a safe house. I expect him to yell at me, or snap back. It's strange though, that I don't expect him to hurt me though. Even though he's dauntless.

He chuckles. "Fair enough."

I press my lips together. We are in front of the old crumbling building.

"There you go." I say pointing toward the door.

"Thank you." He says looking at me. He eyes linger on mine for a few seconds longer. I might have imagined it, I admit.

He opens the door, and Four is gone. I sigh, and leave the food near the stairs.

I turn to walk back to the tracks. I sit back down, this time a few feet away from the tracks-the same distance as I was the first day I came here. I don't know how long I sit there,legs crossed, looking at my ankles, but I hear footsteps.

I turn abruptly, and see Four. I sigh.

"Hello to you too." He says taken Aback.

"Sorry." I mumble.

He sits next to me, a resonable distance away, with one leg layed flat on the gravel, the other bent, with his arm over it. "What wre you doing in there?" I ask.

"Just some...issues that needed to be cleared." He says, not evaluating the situation.

I don't say anything for a while, but I can't help but ask. "What kind of issues?"

His head snaps back, and he straightens. He glares at me, and says his voice low, so low, I am almost scared, "I don't need to tell you anything about anything. It does not concern you. Understood." He says each word slowly, as if I wouldn't understand a word he says.

I know I am small. I know I am short. I know I'm not pretty. But I know when I'm being teased, and I know I'm not stupid. But instead of talking back to him, I scowl, getting up. I walk away, not expecting him to stop me. He doesn't in fact he doesn't seem to care that I'm leaving.

I stomp away, scowling. It is about 10:00 now.I have already given the supplies so I have the rest of the day to myself.

Well, I have the rest of the day to others. For an hour I just walk endlessly around the next few blocks, trying to see id anyone needs my help. I pass a women without looking her way. I see a gray figure taking something from the womans hands-groceries. It hadn't occured to me that she was old and brittle, and needed help carrying her things.

_I will never belong in Abnegation._ I think to myself. I kick a pebble out of the path.

Right now, I would be walking around, doing errands with my brother Caleb. We might have come across Robert and Susan on our way home, and walkinged down the block together, in honourable, quiet, abnegation conversation.

That won't be possible, really. Caleb is Erudite. Robert is Amity. Susan and I were never really close on our own, and I am truly dauntless.

I wonder suddenly, how i could have possibly have an aptitude for abnegation. I suppose the dauntless part was possible. Maybe even Erudite. But Abnegation?

I walk back to my house. It is midday now. Time for lunch. But i don't feel like eating plain bread, chicken, and peas. Instead, I sleep, and dream of how my life would have been If I had chosen differently. I would be in dauntless, jumping off trains, with tattoos, and possibly even some friends.

Instead I am alone, bored, and tired.

But at least I will be able to see my parents for dinner tonight.

I am sitting in the table of my parents house. It is nearly sunset. We say our prayers, thanking god for food on our plates, and a family to support. And then we start to eat.

It isn't because of Caleb's absence that is different about this meal. It is the fact that I am an adult now, technically, and I can talk to my parents in the dinner table. I choose not to though. It just doesn't seem right to do so without my brother. I wonder what he would have said, what he would have done.

"Did anything interesting happen to you today Beatrice?" My mother asks softly.

"Nothing really." I lie. "I just gave the food to the factionless, and helped people around." I say rolling my peas around with my fork.

"How are they doing? The factionless?" My father asks me swallowing a small mouthful of bread.

_How am I supposed to know, I just leave it near the stairs and leave._

"Good i guess. They seem to be eating more." I say shrugging.

It is silent for a while. We have all been avoiding the main subject of this evening. Caleb.

"When is it visiting day for the Erudite?" I ask.

My father freezes, fork about to take some mashed potatoes. My mother just stares at the middle of the table.

"The abnegation are not permitted in the Erudite compound." My father replies, glowering at his food.

"Oh." I say. There is nothing more to say.

The rest of dinner is quiet. I don't know what else to talk about. I feel it should be important to tell my parents about my divergence, but I fear how they will think of me, if they think I could belong in other places instead of abnegation. If they knew I considered leaving them for my own sake.

So instead we talk about little things. My Mothers work. My fathers ranting about the Erudite. Me? I make up stories about how much the factionless appreciate the food, when really, i don't know what they do with it. For all i know the food might just be eaten by seagulls or something.

When it comes time for me to leave, my mother gives me a present.

"Here take this." She says. She hands me a small box. It is a shiny black color, like obsidian. I am about to open it there, but my mother overlaps both of her hands between mine, stopping me. "Open it later. And remember. I love you. and always will." She says squeezing my hands. I nod.

"I love you too." I say. It's the only reason I stayed in this faction. I stayed out of love. My mother kisses my forehead, and my father pats my shoulder as I walk out the door, heading to my own house. It is a ten minute walk. It is dark but some Abnegation still roam by. As I enter my home, locking the door, I open the box.

Inside it is a necklace that shines. It is black, and glimmering. But what is most intriguing about this is not the fact that it is exquisite, which is not allowed in abnegation. It isn't the fact that it shines in perfect harmony with the moon in the night.

It's the fact that is in the complex design the reveals the symbol of dauntless.

Black flames.

I wake the next morning. I plan on going near the trains, waiting there for an hour. It is three in the morning, so I take my time getting ready. As I get out of the shower, a tight grey t-shirt and shorts on my body (I live alone, so it doesn't really matter how I dress.) I see the necklace my mother gave me. I left it on my dresser, afraid of what to do with it, as if it would actually turn to flames.

I wonder what this means from my mother. Does she know, that I hesitated in my choice? Is this a thank you for me, for my choice in staying?

I sigh. I wanted to change. To become more than abnegation. To transform myself into the person I wanted to be.

And now I can't. But this necklace reminds me of who I can truly be, who I think I am capable of being. I can't wear this on my neck, so I decide to put it on my ankle. If i loop it around my foot twice, it just about fits perfectly there as an anklet. I put long grey slacks to cover it, and wear boots just in case. It looks like it might rain anyway.

Now it is five thirty. I decide to leave for the trains.I have to go deliver food to the factionless at seven, so I bring it with me in the same bag as yesterday, swinging it over my back. I run down the stairs, hopping the last three steps.

I arrive at the trains at approximately five forty five. Just as the train passes by. I am walking toward the tracks. I am a good five yards away, when I see someone jump out of the train, landing perfectly on his feet.

Four.

I scowl, displeased to see him. I'm sure he sees me, and when his dark eyes meet mine, I turn to walk away. I can come back later tonight anyways.I start marching away- stomping away really, like a five year old that didn't get the toy she wanted for Christmas.

"Tris!" His voice steps falter. I have a choice. I can keep walking away, or I can face him. But I don't want to face him again. It's not because of him really. It's because he's dauntless, and seeing him reminds me of the life I could have had. It could have been me jumping of that train, instead of watching it go by with envy every morning.

I huff, as I turn around to walk back toward him.

"Yes?" I ask in polite manner the Abnegation are trained to talk in.

He smirks. "We're you going to hide from me?" He asks. My cheeks warm.

"No." I lie.

"Really?" He says quirking that stupid eyebrow of his, and that idiotic grin playing over his dumb lips.

"If you just called me over to discuss this, then you should know I'm not interested in this pathetic foreplay." I say. "I have important things to do."

"Like what?"

"Feed the factionless."

"And after that?"

"Attend important matters that need to be fixed." My laundry.

"I see."

I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't, so I turn and start walking. He follows.

"What." I say trying not to tell him to bug off. I have always had trouble being polite.

"I'm just here to collect somethings for the dauntless from the hub."

"You need to come here to get things?" I ask bewildered. "What could abnegation have that the Dauntless don't?"

"You say that like you feel the abnegation lack something."

I hope the look on my face doesn't say that I do think that. The abnegation do lack something in there lives, and there things, even there actions. They lack adventure.

"Your avoiding the question." I say matter-of-factly. "Just like yesterday."

"Very observant aren't you." He says.

I have exchanged little bits of conversation with this boy, and yet he already knows alot. The little pieces i showed himself about me, aren't abnegation moments. My curiosity showed Erudite. My visits to the tracks every morning show dauntless.

I hope he's just one of the bull-headed dauntless that don't think much.

"Walk me to the Hub?" He asks.

"You don't have legs?" I ask.

"Can't go in the Hub alone."

"It's the building with the huge spikes."

"I know _that."_ He says rolling his eyes. "You can't go into the building without Abnegation permission."

"And what makes you think I can get you in?"

"Well, you did say you have important business to attend to. Figured that meant you were important."

"So I'm your ticket in." I reply.

"In a sense, yes." He says scratching the back of his neck.

I think for a minute. "Tell you what. I'll escort you to the Hub, on one condition."

He frowns. "What?"

"I get to ask you questions, that you have to answer along the way." I tell him.

He thinks about this. "Don't ask me any question about my past, or my name, and you have a deal."

Now I frown. What else is there to ask him about.

It hits me that I can ask him why he's here.

"Promise?" I ask.

He sighs, annoyed. "You have my word." He extends a hand for me to shake, A dauntless way of greeting and deal making. And in this case, promises.

And we start to walk. Along the way, I throw the bag of food at the factionless stairs. Four looks at me weirdly.

"I'm not going in a room full of factionless." I tell him.

"Why?"

"I don't like them. And it doesn't really help the fact that there poor and desperate, and I could easily be there chance at big money with a ransom." I tell him stating my point.

"They wouldn't kidnap you. You would annoy them before they'd give you back." He says playfully.

I don't say anything to this statement of his. He is obviously trying to stall.

No questions on his name, nor his past.

"Why are you going to the Hub?" I ask.

"None of your business." He replies swiftly.

"On the contrary, I can ask you anything as long as it doesn't include your past or your name."

"This meeting kind of ties in to my past." He says. "It also relates to my expedition to the factionless safe house yesterday." He says sternly, telling me not to ask him about it without actually saying the words.

I think of another question. "How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"What's your job in Dauntless?"

"I watch the computers in the control room, but I'm also training transfer initiates."

I almost laugh, but a small breath leaves my lips anyways.

"What's so funny?" He asks looking at me.

I can't tell him really. It is funny because if I were to switch to dauntless, as I planned, then he would have been my instructor. But if I tell him that, he would know my hesitation on making my lifetime choice.

"Nothing." I say looking ahead. The hub is only a few minutes away.

What else should I ask him?

"How are your initiates?"

"Five candor, three Erudite."

It doesn't surprise me that there are no amity. It also gives me relief. If I had really switched, I would have been the only Abnegation,and probably looked down upon.

"No more question?" He asks.

"Not much to ask. You forbid me from asking anything interesting." I reply flatly.

"Can I ask you then?"

"I'm not as interesting, but go for it." I say.

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"Really?" He asks puzzled. A reminder that I look younger.

"Yes. next question." I say trying not to sound to desperate about changing the subject. He smiles, and the corners of his lips twist into a grin.

"Why do you really stand by the trains every morning?"

I cough. "I told you. To wait and deliver the food to the factionless."

"Don't lie to me, Tris." He says.

I know I'm not that good of a liar, but am I really that bad?

"I don't want to answer that question." I say.

"And why not?"

And thankfully, we reach the Hub. I almost push him toward the door to avoid answering the question. He chuckles.

"You still have to come inside the building with me." He says.

I sigh exasperated.

"Well?" He says, holding the door open for me. A few people inside the Hub stop and look. It isn't unusual for an abnegation to escort another faction member into the building. It's just that the escorting is quiet, and without conversation. Four has the sense to stay quiet for a few seconds as we pass a corner into the elevators. He pushes the button to the 45th floor.

I don't answer his question. He must understand that I am not answering any other questions, because he doesn't say another word for a while.

"Do you like living in Abnegation?" He asks.

My silence answers the question. _No. Not really._

He doesn't say anything more. when the elevator stops, the door opening, he turns to face me. "Thank you." He says before leaving the elevator. I say nothing as I press the button to go back to the first floor.

Before the elevator closes though, I here him say two words.

"Beatrice Prior."

I try desperately to open the elevator door again, frantically pressing the "door open" button. He knows my name. Who knows? Maybe the whole reason he came here was to report me for selfish behavior. I could be factionless for that. Maybe I can deny it. After all, who are they going to believe? An Abnegation girl or A dauntless boy?

I stop, letting the elevator go back to the lobby. The door opens, and the Abnegation members shuffle around with city business. Staying in the building all day. Helping others. Not thinking, not even for a second, about what it would be like to receive these things for themselves.

I have a new plan. He went in, so he has to come out of the building sometime. I decide to wait for him outside.

Stupid Four. He's making me paranoid. Heck, he might have made me factionless now for all I know.

About fifteen minutes later, He comes out, the door opening, and his dark hair gleaming. His face is flushed, frustrated. He reminds me of a bomb, a timer counting down, about to explode in any minute. I don't care.

I walk up to him once he is about three yards away from the hub. "How!" I exclaim.

"How what?" He asks, a crease appearing on his forehead as his eyebrows draw in, scowling.

"How did you find out my name?" I ask again.

"Your aptitude test taker, Tori, told me she had to verbally tell girl named Beatrice Prior's test results."Four says. "I figured it had to be you. Her description fit you well enough. Blue eyes blond hair. Oh, and you said your name was Tris. It doesn't an Erudite to figure it out"

My aptitude test. What if Tori slipped up? What if Four demanded she tell him my results? What if it is his reason here today? Tori told me divergence was dangerous.

"Did she tell you my results?" I ask wide eyed.

"Abnegation." He replies dryly. He doesn't seem to think or know anything else about the topic. If this wasn't his reason for going to the Hub, then what was?

"Why did you go to the Hub?" I ask.

"I thought I told you to mind your own business." He snaps.

"Well, you know my aptitude results, which your not allowed to know. It's only fair." I say.

He turns a corner and I follow. At the last minute though, he turns, me almost bumping into his chest. I cringe at his sudden stop.

"Listen here, and listen well." He says quietly. Something in me bubbles. Fear, maybe? "I can't tell you what I'm doing. It's too important for your understanding. And even if I could tell you, I wouldn't. You are just an Abnegation girl I met, who escorted me to the Hub because I came here to see someone. Understood?" He says.

I understand only one thing. He thinks I'm too little, or too stupid, to know anything. He thinks I'm pathetic, and unimportant.

I know I am capable of more than what others think. I hate being under estimated. I hate it even more when people try to be strong, and making me feel weak. I hate it even more when It works, but I can't let it work now. My jaw clenches, and my eyes harden. I breathe in, and when I breathe out, I scowl.

"I don't know why," I start, "You think I'm just a piece of trash around. I don't even know why you think I'm dumb. I don't know why you think I wouldn't understand things that are going on, but stop it." I say sternly. Too sternly. I have only ever dreamed of standing up for myself, but never have. Self defense is self serving, and it might get me into huge trouble later. But that's later.

"I'm not weak. I'm not pitiful. And I am not stupid or idiotic." I finish.

I turn to leave before I here his response. I hear my footsteps, but I don't here his. And I don't care. I wouldn't care if I ever saw him again. One thing is for sure though. If I ever see him again, I will walk away. It is now eight o clock. Time to wander about endlessly, assisting for others needs,

After all, in Abnegation, your only purpose in life is for the benefit for someone else.

That can't be right, can it?

When I wake up the next day I feel lighter. I slept in some long shorts and a loose gray shirt. So big, the collar falls to one side of my shoulder, leaving the other exposed. I could care less. My feet are cold, but I don't even care. Today, I just want to lay on my couch after breakfast and not go out. I woke up unusually late. It is nine o clock. I usually wake up at five. My necklace-still an anklet on my foot-gleams against the dull, yellow sunlight appearing from the cracks behind the blinds of my window.

I moan as I force myself of my bed. There is only one good thing about waking up late today. I won't have any chance of finding Four. Training for most factions starts at eight, and being dauntless must mean they wake earlier.

I stretch my arms as I reach the bathroom, taking a quick shower. I come out, a towel over myself, my hair dripping wet.

I open my closet and find nothing but grey, all the same dull shade. I brush and dry my hair, tying it in a plain old fashion.

I will have to be plain and dull, and unexciting for the rest of my life.

At least I'm not a faction traitor. At least I have my parents. These are the only thoughts that keep me from crying, a lump in my throat that I quickly swallow down.

After the usual feeding the factionless, and aimlessly helping people around, and being shoved by other faction members, I decide to go to the trains. This time, after a whole day of boredom, I plan on something fun, something exiting.

I plan on jumping onto the train.

I have chosen a life for my parents. I haven't betrayed them, but I betrayed myself. And I am not selfless, so that makes me selfish, so therefore I stayed for them, but I will do what I choose to do.

I feel free. I feel like a baby hawk, adjusting it's wings for flight. Once I get the hang of it, with practice, I will be soaring though the sky with adrenaline running in my veins, the feeling I have always wanted to experience.

Maybe I was meant for dauntless.

It is late, around eleven o clock. In this lighting, my clothing looks black. I take of my sweatshirt, Hiding it under a large boulder, out of sight. I will have to wear it again when- if I come back. I hear the whistling horn, and the yellow headlights. I have seen the dauntless do this at school. I will run, and dive into the cart, dragging the rest of me in.

And I bolt into a run. My lungs take in as much oxygen as they can, my legs stretch as long as possible. I am running, sprinting really. I dive into an open cart, my legs still dangling. I gasp. I knew this would happen. I use my arms to pull me in, my legs squirming after me.

I let out a breathe of relief. I did it.

I did it, I did it, I did it. That is the only thought that repeats inside my head. I smile, my breathing heavy.

I tour the City all night, the train whizzing past. The city is dark now, and Abnegation slowly gains distance from the train, fro me. I feel enhanced, by the beauty of the sight. The lights of the city, like many little multi-colored fireflies, going past me in a heart beat. The world, spinning as I watch. I don't dare blink, afraid that if I do, I will miss another spontaneous moment on this train. The sky is dark and endless, but I have never felt more alive.

I have never felt more dauntless.

I can practically see everything, but I want more than that. I want to feel this, to smell this, to _taste_ this feeling. I lean closer to the door, holding onto a handle on each side of me. I close my eyes, and lean forward, breathing in through my nose, smelling fresh air in huge burst, and breathing out through my mouth, feeling the sweetness of relaxation through my throat. I have never felt anything as wondrous as this, but a small part of me, a little voice, tells me to feel fear. The feeling dissolves when I reopen my eyes. I should be afraid. I am about twenty feet high on the train railings, and I should be scared. Death could claim me for this, but I savor this moment, and I dissolve in it. I don't feel like any old person in the city anymore. I feel like I am part of it. I look at the buildings, at how old they are, and I know many things must have happened in or around them, that each one _must_ have a lifeless adventure, an exquisite story to tell.

And that is what I want. I want stories of me. I don't want to be the person that lived for others, walking away from adventurous activities. I want to be part of those adventures, those expedition. The world is full of life, and each piece of life should live to it's out most content, to have a truly amazing story to tell. I want to go through the pages of my life, to go to the unknown. I want to cherish my life, to the most, to the person I am.

I don't want to pretend anymore. I don't want to. I don't want to die, being remembered as Beatrice, the quiet girl from the stiff part of town. No- I want to be a girl, who did crazy things and never regretted it. I want to be the girl that feels powerful, and strong, but not for the terror, or the weakness of others. I want power and strength for myself, to guide me through life, to not be weak and powerless. I want to be the girl with her own little bit of happiness.

I want to be Tris.

**So...wanna review? :3**


	2. Chapter 2

As usual, and back on track, I wake up early, despite my late night journey, and walk toward the trains. It is now seven twenty five. The train should come any minute. I stay a reasonable distance away. The Dauntless usually don't go on trains during initiation.

Yet one figure _does_ pop out. And it is Four.

I curse under my breathe. He hasn't seen me yet, and I turn to walk away, just like promised myself I would do If we were to cross paths again.

"Tris!" He calls from behind me. I keep walking hoping he doesn't follow me. But of course, luck is never on my side. I hear him running, and the second I do I straighten, quickening my pace, until I too am running. He can't recognize me if I am with other Abnegation girls. We all look alike anyways. I am so close to the Abnegation sector, that it would have taken only five more seconds of running, my legs burning, by hands pumping. But no, he catches up to, grasping my elbow, wrenching me back gently. He too is panting.

"Never knew a Stiff could be so...flexible." He says between breathes. My own breathing is heavy, my lungs taking as much oxygen as possible. I try to wriggle out of his grasp, but his grip tightens on my elbow. "I need to talk to you." He says urgently.

"To me?" I ask surprised. "I thought I was a stupid girl who couldn't _possibly _understand the things that go on in this world, especially if it includes this faction." I wince as I say "this faction" instead of "my faction." It's too late to take my slip up away, but he doesn't seem to catch.

"I never called you stupid." He says scowling.

"It was a given." I reply.

"Can I talk to you or not?" He says, frustration obviously visible on his face.

"Fine." I say.

"I need you to tell me anything you know about the Erudite rebelling against the government."

I frown. The Erudite were spreading false reports and accusations on the Abnegation, especially to the families who's children who transferred.

"Well." I say. "There was a report against Mr. Black. His son Robert transferred to Amity. One against My family for my brother moving to Erudite, and there was one against Marcus Eaton a few weeks ago." I say quickly trying to drop the subject of Caleb. Four's head creases as he scowls.

"What else do you know?"

"The Abnegation are not allowed to go to Erudite premises." I tell him, remembering how quiet my parents were when I asked them when we could visit Caleb on Visiting Day.

"Oh." Is all he says. "So you can't see your brother on Visiting day?"

I slouch and nod.

"Is that why you stayed in Abnegation?" He asks. "Because your brother left?"

"What makes you think that I never wanted to be in Abnegation?" I say my voice rising a little.

"Well, for one, you watch the train go by everyday."

"I've been doing that since I was in grade school." I state, remembering the times i watched as the Dauntless jump out of the trains as I peered out the window in the E wing.

"So you thought about leaving since you were a kid?"

I stay silent.

"If you wanted to leave so bad, why didn't you?" He inquires.

"I don't feel like answering anymore further questions." I state closing my ears with the palms of my hands. The way his lip curls tells me he is laughing. His hands tug my palms away from my ears, wanting me to listen.

"Well, now you know what it's like to be asked rather annoying, personal questions." He says amused.

"Yes, well" I say, "You haven't told me your real name, what you did with the factionless safe houses, and which faction you were born in."

"What makes you think I'm not dauntless born?" He asks.

"A normal dauntless wouldn't care to visit factionless safe houses, whatever the reason." I say.

"I was right. If anyone ever kidnapped you, they would give you back for being annoying." He says. "Heck. They might _pay_ someone to take you away."

"The only person who might kidnap a government officials daughter would be you." I say.

He seems to think a while, a few seconds probably, but to me his silence is endless.

"Why did you come here for this time?" It is seven thirty now, and he has to train initiates by eight.

"To make a deal."

"Do you need to go to the Hub again?" I ask. Most faction deals take place on the lobby of the Hub, or in other main parts of the building

"Not a faction deal." He says rolling his eyes. "I want to make a deal with you."

With me?

"What about me?" I ask dubious.

"Well." He says. "If you can stop giving resources to the factionless, I can give you dauntless items. knives, black clothes, possibly weapons. That sort of stuff."

He says it so casually, I almost laugh. "I can't stop the Abnegation from donating clothes or food., and i think i'd be in trouble if I were to walk down the street holding a _gun._" I try picturing, and though it seems somewhat pleasant, I know it could never happen.

"I'm sure your smart enough to find a way to stop the factionless from receiving useful materials." He says, again arching that stupid eyebrow. "And sure, you might not be able to have a gun in abnegation, but you can still fire one inside the trains."

He must have guessed that I learned to jump into one. His plan seems legitimate. But I won't agree to this deal without knowing all the facts.

"On one condition." I say point my index finger at him. "You have to tell me why you don't want the Abnegation to assist the factionless."

"Fair enough." He says leaning into the huge boulder where I hid my long grey sweater last night. "They don't _need_ to be assisted. They found a way to...interact with each other, long enough to be able to survive easily, together." He says. "If the Abnegation keep giving them the resources they need, they might become stronger than anticipated. There playing weak, and famished. Really, they're growing stronger everyday."

I let the shock sink in. I thought being factionless meant isolation from people, from family, from friends. I never expected the factionless bond together as one. Whenever I try to imagine it, I just can't. When I was ten, I remember seeing two factionless fight over a lump of cheese. One of them kicked the other in the ribs, and he fell. The man made a run for it and left, leaving the one with the kicked ribbed on the floor breathing heavily. My father paid for his treatment until he got better, and once he did, he had to go back on the streets.

I have been wary of the factionless since,

So i have a choice. I can do this selfish act, and get my little bits of courage in return, or for once, be selfless and deny Four's deal.

"Deal." I say, and we shake on it.

It has been three days since Four and I have made our little deal. Since then I have offered to take the recourse's for the factionless from ten other Abnegation families. I take on piece of material from each bag and put it in one simple bag, not giving the factionless to much. Then I dump the rest of the things into the trucks that roll by everyday from the Hub, that give food and other stuff to the other factions. I make sure no one watches me before throwing the bag in the Amity truck, carelessly.

"Careful, now." I hear Four say behind me.

"When did you get here?" I ask.

"Just now. Pretty good system you thought up." He compliments nodding.

"So and so." I say shrugging. "And what about my end of the deal?" I ask.

"Follow me." He says waving his wrist, telling me to follow.

In the past three days, I have gotten black sneakers, a black jacket with a silvery zipper, and black pants. How he got all these things in my size, I don't know. Then again, if he knows my name and works in the control room, I have no doubt he could look up my medical records and my measurements.

And I don't even know the guy's name. I frown, and shake my head, reminding myself the topic can't be discussed. Maybe, overtime, I can ask him, and most likely, in that amount of time, he will say no. I can't even count how many times I have made a sarcastic comment on the stupid things he has said.

"So, Stiff." He says on our way back to the train tracks. It's his own ironic nickname for me now. "What do you think I got you this time?" He asks. We take the back route, going through foul smelling Alleys, behind factionless territories, and behind huge trucks to avoid being seen together.

"A glass ball that can show me the future." I say rolling my eyes. "How am I supposed to know?"

"Just guess." He says, making no comment to my sarcasm.

"Another piece of clothing?" I guess.

"No."He says smiling a little. "Guess again."

"Jewelry?"

"No."

"A bouquet of pretty bright, sun shining flowers?"

"Now why would I do that?" He asks.

"It's seems legit." I say, trying hard not to laugh by biting the inside of my lip. He elbows me lightly.

"I'm serious." He says. "Guess."

"A time machine?" I ask. "Because that would be the best thing I could possibly get." Maybe I could go back in time and change my decision.

"No." He says.

"Give me a hint." I say.

"It's black."

"Gee, thanks for narrowing down my options!" I say.

"Done guessing?"

"I've been done." I say as we finally reach the tracks.

He gets something behind the boulder. It is black, metallic, and glimmers against the light sunshine.

"A gun." I say astonished.

"Well." He says. "I meant what I said." He holds the gun out for me to take.

I hesitate as I wrap my fingers around it. My hand creeps from the cold of the metal, and a warning bell rings inside my head, telling me to stop holding it, but I can't. My fingers glide over the smooth metal, and over the trigger. I feel weak holding this, like the gun is taking all my strength, but a few seconds later, it emits power into my hands.

"Where am I supposed to fire it?" I ask.

"You know how to jump in trains, right?" I have an Idea of how to do it." I admit shrugging.

"Perfect." He says, and takes my hand. The train whistles, and the headlines gleam. "Ladies first." He says gesturing to the train coming this way, as if it was a door.

I sprint like last time, bending my knees inward as I leap into the train. I turn as I jump, landing on my back, hard. The air gets knocked right out of my lungs, but I seem otherwise unharmed. I pull a few feet away from the doorway, and Four jumps right in, easily, as he uses the handle to pull himself in.

"How many times have you done that?" He asks me.

"Including this time?" I say. "Twice." I figured I can trust Four with the Dauntless part of me, since he doesn't seem much of a threat to me. He did trust me enough to give me a gun though. I wouldn't really think of him as a friend though. The only reason he gave me this was for a part in our deal.

"You want to try out the gun?" He asks. It is then that I notice a target on the other right side of the cart.

"I don't know if I have to much of a good aim."I tell him.

"Here, watch me." He says. He takes a gun similar to mine, but a few shades lighter. He takes a deep breath, and holds both hands out in front of him. He narrows his eyes, directed at the center of the target. He aims, and as he pulls the trigger, he exhales. The bullet hits dead center.

I try doing the same thing, Aiming as I inhale. When I exhale, like he did, I pull the trigger, but I wasn't expecting an aftershock. The gun pulls back, along with my hand, almost hitting my eye.

"Try balancing yourself a little better." He suggests. "Spread your feet apart, and hold the gun firmly."

"I have to hold the thing _tighter._" I ask.

"Do you want it flying back again?"

I sigh heavily.

I do as he says, not firing just yet.

"Chin up." He says. I tilt my chin up. "Good. Now, imagine nothing else but the target. Try blacking everything else out. Imagine nothing else is there, and hold the gun with your arms out." He says.

I try again, but the thought of a gun in my hand makes a part of my head pound. I never expected myself to do this in gray clothes.

I inhale, aiming better, narrowing everything out, as Four said. I exhale, keeping my eyes open, as I pull the trigger, and I see a bullet hole right near the edge of the board.

"Nicely done." He says nodding. "Now, try again."

And I do. For the next half hour, I fire at the target. In the next few rounds, I start hitting most of them in the center of the target, and Four watches me, giving me ideas of improvement. When I hit the center of the target the third time in a row, I look at Four. He sits near the door, his back leaning close to the frame of the doorway. He has his right cheek leaning on his right hand, his elbow leaning on his right knees. His eyes tell me he is thinking hard about something as he glances out the car, watching the city go by. I plop down next to him, crossing my legs, tilting my head to get a better few of his facial features.

His hair is dark. It looks black, almost, but in the faint light, it is a darker shade of dusky brown. His eyes, dark blue, but it has a lighter shade of it on the left part of his iris. His ears stick out just a little, and his nose hooks at the end. His lips go downward naturally, and they are spare on his upper lip, and full on his lower one. He is handsome, and extremely self possessed. He is not built rough, and bulky, like most dauntless boys. He is flexible, and his figure might suggest that he has more speed than strength.

He looks at me from the corner of his eyes. "What?" He asks.

"Don't you have initiates to train?" I ask.

"No. They have a break today. End of stage one."

"Whats stage one?" I ask.

"Combat. Fighting, how to use a gun, knife throwing, that sort of stuff." He says.

"Any factionless?"

"Two transfers, both from Erudite, and two dauntless borns." He says. I don't think he will say anything else, but he continues. "A candor transfer stabbed the erudite guy in the eye."

I shiver at the thought. "Why?"

"He was ranked first, and the candor smart-mouth was second." He says. "As you probably know, he was jealous. The Erudite's girlfriend joined him with the factionless."

"That's stupid." I say.

"I know, you don't stab people in the -" I cut him off.

"Not that. The fact that the girl became factionless with her Erudite pal." I say. "What's the point of that?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" He looks at me confused.

"I'd rather be a member of a faction and not be _with_ anybody, instead of being factionless." I say staring at my hands.

I've never thought about it, me liking someone. The Abnegation don't really talk about it. They usually marry their neighbors, because they are usually closer to each other, like Susan and Caleb were. I would probably have married Robert, honestly, if he had not transferred, and I am relieved he did. I never thought of Robert that way, and he never thought of me that way. I am happy for that. It would have just made things more awkward.

"Afraid of commitment, now are we?" He asks.

My spine becomes a metal rod. "It's not that." I emend. "What's the point of trusting someone, if there's a chance you wouldn't be with them in the near future? What's the point of having your emotions played with?" I say.

Four just shrugs. "She wasn't going to pass initiation anyways. She lost every fight, and she has terrible aim." He says. "Probably followed Edward into Dauntless in the first place." He says.

"Edward?"

"The guy who got stabbed in the eye."

I shudder again at the thought.

He sighs. "Anyways. Anything new about Erudite."

"hmm." I think. "Not that I know of. Do you know anything?"

He presses his lips together in response. He knows something about Erudite. And I want to know what that is.

"Tell me." I state.

"I can't. All I can say is..." He says looking around, like someone might come out inside the empty train car. "We're not safe. We're not safe at all."

I don't know what he means by that, and I know he won't tell me, even if I I asked, so I decide to change the subject.

"Where's the Dauntless compound?" I ask. "The Amity have the Orchards, The Abnegation, have the Hub, the Erudite have the Millennium, and Candor has Merciless Mart." I say. "What about Dauntless? They don't live on trains, do they?"

"No." He replies. "There's an Underground cavern. It covered by a cluster of buildings."

"Oh." So he wouldn't be able to show me it from this distance.

"You know." He says. "If you had chosen Dauntless, I would have been your instructor."

"Took you long enough to find that out." I say. "No wonder you left Erudite."

"I'm not an Erudite transfer." He says turning to face me, his elbow resting on his other knee now.

"Candor?"

"I'm not playing this game, Tris." He says coldly, looking me in the eye. "You ask too many questions for your own good."

I stare back, though his gaze is probably stronger than mine, I refuse to back down. I know he can easily beat me in a fight, or throw me of this train, but for some reason, I doubt he would do that. He isn't what I would expect in a Dauntless, and I hope I'm not wrong about him. The dauntless i've seen have usually fought each other unconscious, and have piercings all over. I don't think Four would try to hurt me intentionally, and as far as I know, he has a neck tattoo of flames on his neck.

We stay in the train silently, for five minutes. That is when we are near the abnegation sector, and that is when it is time for me to go off.

"See you tomorrow, Tris." Four says right before I jump.

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	3. Chapter 3

I stay on the trains tonight. I saw Four this morning. He hid my gun in the train, and it stays well hidden from any dauntless who might want to catch a ride.

The train whizzes past the city. I thought the more I go on the train at night, the less appealing it would seem to me, but I could never have been more wrong. It gets more exiting by the minute, and the feeling never fades.

Part of me fears being up this late at night, sneaking away from my own home. I see the factionless walk by, and try extremely hard to walk through them without causing trouble. I always go on the other side of the street to avoid intersecting them. I shouldn't fear them though. If what Four said is correct, then they are at ease with their life. It is difficult for me to imagine though.

Factionless is meant to be worse than death. The word "community" being remote and foreign to them.

I reach the part of the city where Four said the Dauntless compound is. I can just imagine it being alive, and blooming with danger. I do not crave danger. I crave an adrenaline rush.

I wonder what the difference is. There is a huge difference between danger and an adrenaline rush. I know it is, I just don't know _what _it is.

I don't know what it is. It isn't the only thing I don't know about. I have no idea about "divergence," Or what it even means. If I jump off now, maybe I could find Tori and probe her for more information on the topic. But I don't know where Tori would be in the Dauntless, and I would be reprimanded for coming to dauntless in the first place, with my grey clothes, and hair. It has gotten longer though. Much longer.

I have such a rush of thought after one thing hits me straight in my thick skull.

There is no source of identification anywhere in the city, unless you want to go into a meeting place, because only leaders are allowed to those.

Four has given me black clothes and apparel.

I have a gun.

I can pretend to be dauntless. I can sneak into there headquarters, wherever it is. I can find Tori, somehow, and possibly ask her what "danger" she thinks I'm in.

When I reach the abnegation sector, I jump off, stumbling a little too much for my liking, and run back to my house. I plan everything out, and if everything goes the way I want it too, I will have my wish.

And also a very annoyed Four.

I slept for a few hours, but excitement kept jolting me awake, so I gave up on it all together. I collect the food from the ten abnegation families that is supposed to be delivered to the factionless, and throw it into the truck that evenly distributes materials and food to the factions.

I then run home, and wear the things Four has bought me. The black t-shirt, and the pants, which fit comfortably on my waist, but go just a little below my knee, my ankle bare. I then wear grey slacks over it, and my gray jacket. I then make a dash for the door.

I walk casually through the abnegation members as I walk past them. I cut past through an Alley, and then head for the trains, so no one can see me. when I arrive, a look both way twice, as if it was a street, and me making sure no cars are coming.

Then I take the gray slacks off, and toss the jacket under my rock, leaving me with nothing but the black clothing representing dauntless.

My heart hammers against my chest. My head throbs. I try to brush off the feeling, but I just can't. I am nervous, or anxious. I am scared that I might get caught. I am scared that Four might not go with my plan.

I feel weak, all of a sudden, but I can't do this now. I take deep breathes in and out, and a constant pace as I sit, both knees bent.

What feels like an eternity later, Four finally jumps off. It's seven thirty.

"Hello." He says carefully, but his voice rumbling. "I am looking for a girl names Tris Prior. Have you seen her lately?" He asks, in a mocking tone.

"Very funny." I say. Now is not a time to crack jokes. "I want to visit the dauntless compound."

He smiles. "It took you long enough to consider the option."

This is a new revelation to me. He wanted me to do this. He knew I would have, eventually. My eyes wide, and my cheeks feel warm.

"Well." He says. "The next train comes soon. I'll have to train initiates until six. I guess I'll leave you with Tori at the time."

Perfect. Four will lead me to the just the person I need. "People will rarely bother to ask who you are, but if they do, just say...your learning the art of tattooing with Tori, so that when you choose dauntless when your sixteen, you can have an idea what it's like to be a tattoo artist." Four finishes.

"When I _turn_ sixteen?" I ask my mouth a little open in offense.

"Tell people that your fourteen, if they ask. It's believable." He says, leaning on the rock where I hid my clothes. I notice he leans on it a lot. Maybe I can get one of those chemicals that burn when you touch it, and rub some on the rock. Then the next time he leans on it, he'll think twice before calling me a little girl. He didn't say those words, but it was a given.

"Tell people that your twenty eight." I snap back. "You look to old to be eighteen."

"At least I always act the same age. Some days you act like an adult, and then on others you act like a child." He retorts.

I glare between my feet. I would glare him in the eye, but they way he said those words tell me he isn't in the mood. If I look him in the eye, I fear it would make him angrier, like it would with the dog in the aptitude test. I don't say anything to him in a few seconds.

"When the next train coming?"

"A few more minutes. This one goes faster. We'll reach the compound about ten minutes faster."

"Oh."

This is what we usually talk about. Factual things. And if it isn't that, they are sarcastic comments, or if he's having an okay day, about his real name. But today is a day for silence. I look at him and his eyes are closed, and he gulps. At long last the train comes. He goes in first, easily. I wonder if I will ever be able to do that.

And then I come in with a leap, and a huge puff of air. Four's lips pull upward in a smirk. I groan. I don't seem to be getting any better at jumping on trains, but it's a wonder I managed to get in, in the first place. Four helps me stand up. I let go quickly. I'm still mad at him, so I scowl. He just sighs.

"I'm not going to apologize, you know." He says looking ahead. "So you might as well forget about giving me the silent treatment."

I was going for the cold shoulder, but I'm not going to correct him. I guess I'll do both.

"Tris." He says.

I say absolutely nothing.

"Beatrice." He says slowly, pronouncing each word.

He doesn't usually call me that. I suddenly want to ask him why. I am about to, but when my mouth opens, I remember about the cold shoulder/silent treatmeant, and I shut it. Four catches on though.

"Beatrice Prior." He says teasingly, and I grit my teeth. "Come on. You know you want to talk. Your like the Candor that way."

I want so scream at him saying that I can picture him picking flowers to impress an Amity girl, but again, I can't.

"This is killing you isn't it."

I squeeze my eyes shut. He is taunting me. Taunting is bullying. I don't like bullies.

But then he chuckles, and I no longer think of him as a bully.

I don't think of him as a friend either, but I open my eyes again, still refusing to acknowledge him.

I don't know what Four is to me. He isn't my friend, but he's the closest thing I had to one, even though he's farther down the line. But he isn't far enough to be someone I hate. He is somewhere in between.

I relax my shoulder and crouch down on the opposite side. Four follows me. He takes out the gun, and hands it to me.

I give up on the cold shoulder routine, and just give him the silent treatment. I take my gun, hiding it in my waistband.

"Tris." Four says. "Please just talk to me." He scoots closer to me.

I scoot away.

"You'll have to talk to me eventually." He says shrugging.

Wanna bet?

"Your to stubborn for your own good." He says scowling. "Careful Tris."

He says that a lot. I'm too stubborn for my own good. I'm always too much of something for my own benefit.

We ride the train, and it is then that I realize that Four was right. This train does move quicker. The train turns, and I stumble, and almost fall to my side.

Well, I would have if I hadn't grabbed Four's arm until I was stable. His skin is warm and strong. I brush my fingers along his skin as I let go. He is closer than I had expected him to be, even after my little slip up. His eyes watch my hands, and slowly gaze up and my chin. His stare makes my insides burn, like someone filled my stomach acid with gasoline, and then stuck a torch in it.

Then he looks at my foot, on which I wear black sneakers. Four scowls, thoughtful. "I don't remember giving you a Dauntless anklet." He says.

I jerk, and pull my feet in criss cross, looking at the shining piece of jewelry. I forgot about it. I wear it so much, I don't even take it off at night. It is like it's a part of my body now.

If I tell Four that my mother gave it to me, I put her in danger. She did nothing to me, and I don't want to drag her into my problems. "I found it." I say in a weak attempt to steer him away.

He smirks. "I knew you couldn't stop talking to me."

Oh. I scrunch my nose. He laughs, a few seconds later, I let out a short laugh as well.

"Here we go." He says.

He takes my hand, and pulls me with him off the car. I stumble, but he catches me, and smiles.

"Where now?" I say. We're on a roof, about seven stories. Four looks paler, almost green.

"Down." He says pointing toward the ground, to darkness.

He gestures to me. I look down. I see nothing but black. If I fall, I would camouflage into the dark. Should I trust Four?

This is a test. To prove my courage, if I have any at all. I am scared. But this is my chance to prove to myself that I can. That I am something more than just Beatrice. I gulp, blink, and don't think as I just let myself fall.

And the feeling is wonderful. I fall into it for a few seconds, but it feels like an endless amount of time. I feel free, and young. I feel like I have chosen again, this time differently.

I laugh a little as I fall. Four has given me the best gift imaginable.

He has given me a time machine, which I fall through now, my eyes closed, feeling the air press against my face, like sharp shard of glass being thrown at my face.

I feel a thud, and the air is out of my lungs. I pull myself up wincing. A net. I wait on it until Four falls next to me. He groans. He seems flustered, and his face is colored, his eyes widened. He laughs shakily.

"I didn't expect you to jump right in." He says. "I bet that if you had chosen differently, you would have been the first jumper."

"Thanks." I say, A little prideful.

"But do me a favor. Next time someone asks you to jump of a building, don't" He says laughing. "There might not be a net next time." He says patting the piece of net between us.

He goes over me, rolls, and lands on his feet as he jumps off. He gives me his, hand and I take it, falling off, stumbling. He holds me until I am once again, stable.

"Here we go." I mutter to myself.

And with that he escorts me into the home of the brave.

**Hows this story doing so far? Lemme know J review or comment 4**


	4. Chapter 4

Four pushes me into a room full of life-like art, out on a wall. I wanted to stay in "the pit," as the dauntless call it, but Four said he didn't have time for that and that he'd be late for his initiates.

I'll go pester him later. For now, I wait for Tori to finish on a customer. She told me to sit in a corner and watch. I got bored half an hour ago, so I started spinning until my head hurt. I feel like throwing up, but a few minutes of statue-stillness later, I feel stable again.

But now I am bored again.

I expected a little more when Four brought me here.

Finally, Tori finishes, and acknowledges me forward. We go in a back room.

"So, Abnegation got to you, huh?" She asks.

I shrug. "Maybe just a little."

"So I see." She says smirking. "And Four agreed to smuggle you in here."

"Yes."

"Did you come here for a certain purpose?" She asks lifting an eyebrow.

"Yeah..." I say. I have had so many questions to ask her about my results, yet now I forget them."It's about..."I look around, and whisper, "Divergence."

She frowns. "You don't need to know anything. You chose Abnegation, and thank God for that. If you had chosen this, you would have been in serious trouble," She says playing with her fingers.

"What _is _it though?" I ask. "What danger where you talking about?"

"I shouldn't tell you that."

I feel anger. This is about me, about my life. I have every right to know. "Why-" I start, but I am cut off.

"If you are ever asked about the topic, you just have to say you don't know what it is." She says. "It wouldn't be a lie, because you don't know what it is. And we have to leave it like that." She explains.

I have come here for answers.

And will leave with none.

I sit around the wall of art. One seems to catch my eye. It is a bird, in flight. It is mysterious, and seems unique. I look at the feathers, flapping.

"It's a raven." Tori says.

"It's pretty." I say back.

I look at it. A part of me wants it imprinted on me, but that would be bad.I could take a medical exam and it could be seen, or someone could see it. I sigh, sadly.

Maybe one day, I will.

But today I wait, bored.

Four comes, and I sigh, happy that I can go back home.

But it isn't six o clock. It is noon. Lunch.

I've been here for four hours.

"How's dauntless so far?" He asks sitting on a stool next to me.

"Boring." I mumble.

He sighs. "I'm sorry, but It would be a bad idea to let you wander about the compound." He says. "It's a small faction, and I think people might notice you." He says.

I look at him in the corner of my eye. "I'm not noticeable."

"Sure." He says. I don't know if he's sarcastic or not.

"What were the initiates doing today?" Tori asks from the other side of the room.

"Simulations." Four says.

"Huh?" I say,confused. Simulations don't seems like a dauntless thing. It seems more Erudite related.

"Oh." Four says, realizing my confusion. "The dauntless take something called a fear simulation. It makes you hallucinate your worst fears, and you have to conquer it in order to escape."

I shudder. The way he says it makes it sound like simulations ar an endless trap. Like a coma, you can't have control of yourself. That has to be a fear itself.

"Of course." I say. "Someone has to be simulation testers for Erudite. Why not the dauntless?"

"You wouldn't want to try?" Four asks.

"Of course not!" I say. "It seems like being a prisoner of your own mind if you ask me."

Four presses his lips together. I hear Tori drop something on the other side.

"I'm Okay!" She says.

"You sure?" I call back, just to distract myself. Four is looking at me, analyzing me, and his gaze is somewhat uncomfortable.

"I'm fine, Beatrice." She retorts.

"Tris." Four corrects her.

"Right." She says rolling her eyes.

Someone knocks on the door. Tori locked the door when Four came in. Someone bangs on it, so hard, I think it might fall off. "Tori! Open the freaking door!" A male voice says.

"Eric." Four says, his voice bleeding out venom in the name. It scares me for a small moment.

"Who?" I say.

"Take Tris to the back room." Tori orders.

Four nods, and instead of letting me get up, he just puts his arm under my knees and carries me to the room, closing the door shut.

"I could have walked, you know." I whisper harshly.

"It would have taken you two days" He retorts.

"Who's Eric?" I ask.

"A dauntless leader." He says. "He gets a tattoo or a piercing almost everyday."

"A leader?" I ask astounded. I feel sick now, my knees buckled.

"He doesn't come back here. He likes people to watch his flesh being pierced. He thinks it makes him look braver." Four says bitterly.

I take a peak through the hole in the door. The leader is pierced and inked in so many places, it's impossible count them all. His hair is oily and slick. But the eerie part of him is the cold gaze of his eyes. I rub my hands together, out of nervousness. Tori is marking him even more.

I retreat from the hole. Four's arms are crossed, tapping his foot. His lips are puckered, like he ate a lemon whole.

"Isn't he too young to be a leader?" I ask.

"Age isn't really a matter here." Four says. "Besides, there aren't many old Dauntless anyways."

"Why?" I ask. I just realized I never saw a senior Dauntless. Maybe they die before ageing. It's not like everyone survives jumping of trains, or fighting battles, or all the drugs that go around.

"I think you have a sense of what happens." Four says not looking me in the eye.

I nod, and place my ear on the door, trying to overhear anything.

"Where's Four?" Eric says. His voice makes your back seep cold. "He's been missing a lot around here nowadays."

"What do you hear?" Four asks. I just press my index finger on my lips telling him to hush.

He sighs, and comes next to me, trying to hear as well.

"Four has been in here most of the time. I don't know where he is now though." Tori replies. "How many more tattoos do you plan on getting?" She says, trying to change the subject.

"I'll get as many more as I want." He snaps. "And I need to find Four. If you see him, tell him to talk to Max about the simulations."

"Who's max?" I whisper.

"Another leader." Four says.

There is more to simulations than I know. I wonder if it has to do with Divergence. I wish Tori would tell me, but she's right. The best way for me to lie, is to not know what I'm supposed to know.

We hear the door shut, and let out a sigh of relief. Eric is gone. Four peers in the hole just to check. He nods, and my shoulders relax. I get up, and we walk out.

"Four." Tori says. "Eric's looking for you."

"Yeah, I got the memo." He says rolling his eyes. "I have to go watch the simulations again. Tris, you can come too. I'm the only one who watches the hallucinations, so it should be safe."

"Okay." I reply.

"Wait." Four says grabbing my hand to stop me from walking to the door. "It would be a good idea to hide yourself a little more. Just to be safe."

I look at him, waiting. He takes a hat that was on the table. It is a fedora hat, black, and the ribbon surrounding it is glossy. He takes it, and places it on my head, tilting it so no one can really look at my face.

"There." He says. "Perfect. Let's go." He says, and pulls my arm as he walks, showing me the way.

**I know it's short, and boring, but hey, I can only hope it gets better :) Merry Christmas (Or happy holidays, or happy winter ;)and 4**

**I need a time machine so i can get the last book for the trilogy ;(**

**I wish it wasn't a trilogy, I wish it was 5 books (five factions, get it?) But hey, it's Veronica's idea, so it's her choice :)**

**REMINDER! I DON'T OWN DIVERGENT! VERONICA ROTH DOES! THESE CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE!**


	5. Chapter 5

Once we enter a room from the back, I see a computer screen. Four is behind me, ushering me in. I take the hat off, now that we aren't near any members. I sit down on a chair in front of the computer.

"So." I say. "How does this work?"

"Well, we have to put the wires on, if you want to watch." He says locking the doors. "The simulations work when we inject a serum into the initiates, the liquid that induces the simulation, and the transmitter that sends the data to the computer. It's not like the aptitude test."

"How can you get out of it?" I ask. "And does everyone have the same simulation?"

"No. The serum induces the simulation of a persons worst fears. It stimulates the amygdala, which is the part of your brain the produces fear. Every person has a different simulation. To get out of it, you have to either calm your breathing and heartbeat down, or face the fear head on, so the simulation pushes away." He finishes.

"So you just stay in these all day? I thought you guys learned to fight and stuff." I say.

"That was stage one. This is stage two, which is weighed more in the final rankings than stage one."

"Rankings?"

"The rankings are for two reasons. The first is that it is the order where you pick your jobs. The higher you are in the rankings, the better chance you have at a government job. The second, and most important, is that only the top ten are made members. Transfers and dauntless-Born's included."

I am relieved a little that I did not choose dauntless. I might not have made it to the top ten, which could nly mean me being factionless. But I wonder if I could have made it, if I could be a member.

"Can I try?" I say.

"No."

"Why not?" I demand.

"We only have enough of the simulation for the initiates. And I don't think you would be able to handle it."

"Oh. And I bet I could if I tried." I say frowning.

He sighs annoyed, pushing a wire on his forehead, and then putting one on my own. "If you really want, I can take you to the fear landscape. We have plenty of those serums."

"What's that?"

"It's like the simulations, except in the fear landscape, you have to do all your fears, not just one, like in simulation. Also, you are aware that it is not a simulation." He says. "We can do that later, or tomorrow. Now just watch the simulations with me, and for God's sake, stop asking so many questions."

I bite my lip, to keep from grinning.

And the simulations start. It's strange really. One second I'm in the simulation room, the next my brain is watching a boy with green eyes, shiny hair, and a wicked smirk stand in the middle of a room.

"That's Peter." Four tells me, but I do not see him. He probably was able to tell me that through the simulation, since both of us are watching it.

The boy- Peter's- smirk is gone as he looks around. He is in an arena with a man, twice his size. Peter tries to fight him, but he can't. Soon he is beaten to pulp, and the bigger person is the victor. All around him are cheers for him, but Peter is there, frustrated. "Rematch!" He demands, but no one sees him. Then there are taunts against him "Loser." They all say, and color fill his whole face. "Loser! Loser!" They all chant. Peter covers his ears. "Stop it!" He says every time he hears the words. "Loser! Loser! Loser! Loser! Loser!" "Stop it, Stop it, Stop it, Stop it, Stop it!"

He keeps saying that to them again and again. He starts breathing heavily, and his breath comes our ragged. A few minutes of this, and he curls into a ball, his knees to his chest. Then his heartbeat lowers a little more, more, until it is normal. His breathes too are relatively even.

And it ends.

"Ten minutes sixty three seconds." Four says. "Not too bad. I don't like him though."

"Why?"

"He's the guy that stabbed the one that was winning with a knife. It's obvious, from seeing his previous behavior and his simulation, that he has an obvious fear of losing. His timing was good though. He might come in first in the final rankings, but he'll have to improve his timing a little more. There are initiates that calmed down faster."

"Four?"

"Tris."

"What rank were you." It can't be too high, considering the fact that he works with computers and trains initiates.

"First."

"What." I gape. "I thought you said the ones with higher ranks get government jobs."

"The ones that want it. I didn't want one." He says, like it's no big deal. He could have been a dauntless leader.

"Why?"

"Next one or not?" He says, adding another wire to my forehead. I realize that he didn't answer my question. I know better then to ask again.

We watch fourteen more simulations. A girl with dark skin and short hair drowning. A large boy running from an army of bees. Another boy, with green celery like eyes slowly being burnt by acid. So many fears, I can't possibly remember them all. There is one left, but Four does not let me see it. All I know, is that the boy's name is Uriah.

"Fear landscape?" I ask.

"No." He says shaking his head. "It's almost six o clock. We should get you back to abnegation."

"I can go on my own." I insist.

"I know." He says. "I might as well come with you. I am in no mood to run into Eric."

We walk to the trains and wait for the carts to show up with the blaring horn.

"What was his rank?"

"Who's?"

"Eric's."

"Second."

"So he took the government job. And he hates the fact that you did better then him."

"How'd you know?"

"The way he was talking about you today, in the parlor. He seemed jealous when he acknowledged you."

"Your too smart for your own good." He says smiling. "Careful Tris." is all he says.

We jump into the train, and we sit in comfortable silence.

**I know this is going insanely slow...But don't worry next time I update (In the middle of march.) I'll make it interesting :)**


	6. Chapter 6

I am too tired to wake up the next day. I know I have too though. I can't afford to break my promise to Four.  
Once I have shuffled out of bed, put on my clothes, (The black clothes under the gray ones.) and hustle out of the house.  
I collect more food from families: about fifteen more. I toss one item from each bag into one single bag,and put the rest in the truck that distributes the food equally to the other factions. Then I run for the trains.  
I must have been a little late today, because Four is already there.  
"Tris." He says jerking his chin to me, acknowledging my presence.  
"You know my real name is Beatrice." I say standing next to him. "Why do you still call me Tris, Four."  
He smirks at me. "I like Tris better. It's...unique." He says. "Like you."  
"Four's pretty unique too." I say looking down, my cheeks heated. "At least it would have been, if it was you real name."  
I expect him to snap at me for trying to ask his name again, but to my shock, he doesn't. He just looks at his shoes, and says so quietly, I almost don't catch it.  
"Only a handful of people know." He says. "So. We can go through your fear landscape today. If you want." He says changing the subject as the train comes by. We jump in. He climbs in swiftly, as I stumble, bumping into his collarbone. His hands wrap around both of my elbows as I bump into him. His hands squeeze gently, walking backwards so I fall against him on the side of the train cart. "Your getting better at that." He compliments.  
"Thank you." I murmur back. His hands let go of my elbows, but we are sitting closer then usual. I estimate about six inches distancing us.  
I don't know why, but I feel warmer now, as if the air between us is sparked with energy. I don't want any distance put between us, and it is stupid. He is older, Dauntless, tall, and handsome. I am younger,Abnegation, short, and plain. I shake the thought out of me. There is no possibility of Four and I in that way and I silently scold myself for my stupidity.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks.

I shake my head. "I'm just wondering what the fear landscape will be like." I say, only half lying.

"It's not that bad." He says, and then his lips turn downward, frowning. "Well, I suppose that's not entirely true. You face your worst fears until you learn to cope with them."

I shudder. "How many fears would I have?"

"The average person has around ten to fifteen fears." He answers simply.

"So I might face fifteen fears." I state. "And I have to face them until I calm down."

"You might have less fears, and yes, you either calm down or face it head on." He answers simply.

"How many fears did you have?" I ask him.

His lips part, about to answer, but then his jaw clenches, not willing to talk. I frown.

"I'd tell you." He says. "But then you'd want to know what they are."

I shake my head, and look at the doorway, watching the city pass. About twenty minutes later, we reach the compound.

"Are you going to train initiates?" I ask.

"They have a small break today." He says curtly. "But we probably should go through your landscape at night. Around ten o clock."

"Then why am I here then?" I ask. It is about eight o clock in the morning. I have to wait more then twelve hours? Twelve hours?

He shrugs. "You didn't get an official tour of Dauntless." He says. He takes the hat I had to wear yesterday, and plops it on my head, angling it perfectly once again so no one really has a clear view of my face. He bends down, his lips near my ear. "Let's go." He says a quick whisper, that chills my spine, but not in a fearful way.

_Stupid. _I tell myself in my head.

"This way." He says jerking his head forward. He makes sure to distance himself.

"What's that?" I ask.

"That's the place the Dauntless go to get clothes" he says.

"And that?"

"The training room. Punching bags and stuff."

"And that?" I ask again.

He laughs. "Your like a child going through the candy store." He says smirking. This makes me scowl.

"_Is_ there a candy store?" I ask. I've never had the sweet, energy-ful snack. It is self-indulgent to eat anything so flavorful.

He laughs again. "We can have some cake later." He says.

He introduces me to a little more areas. The dining room, the other stores, and a place for piercings. Then I hear something that sounds like a hundred faucets running at the same time.

"What _is _that?" I ask.

"What?" He asks, straightening.

"That s_ound. _What else?"

"Oh. I forgot. Follow me." He says grasping my wrist, and walking forward, pulling me with him. I'm not sure how I like that. I never understood why people hold each other's hand as they walk when they are capable of it themselves.

He leads me across the pit, into a place with jagged rocks, a railing, and most important of all, an underground river flowing with gallons of water.

"The chasm." He says before I can even ask. "There's always one initiate who is foolish and idiotic enough to fall off it."

"Has anyone fallen yet?" I ask. The thought is cold and evil. What could happen so badly in Dauntless initiation, that someone would kill them self?

"Not yet, but I assure you there will be." He says. "Those simulations from yesterday? They always crack someone into unfix-able pieces. so bad, that they can't take it anymore." He says shrugging."I still think it's no excuse for suicide."

"Did you know someone who..." I trail off.

He looks down, and kicks the ground. "Who hasn't?" He asks. I don't ask anything else. I have learned, over the past few weeks of knowing him, that he does not like talking about past events.

I clear my throat. "What time is it?" I say, desperately trying to change the subject.

He checks his watch. It is black, with silver rimming around the frame. "Lunch." He says.

I follow him into the dining room, but he stops at the doorway. "Too many people. Go to the tattoo parlor, I'll meet you there." He orders. The way he says it is so straight-forward, and has so much authority, I think of him almost like a faction leader.

I nod, and walk to the parlor. Luckily, no one really notices me. That is another benefit of the Abnegation: I know exactly how to dissolve.

Or maybe it is because my Divergence allows me to belong here as well. Either way, it is a benefit.

Once Tori sees me, she opens the door for me, and then locks it, pulling down the curtain. "Where's Four?" She asks.

"Dining hall. He said he'd be here in a few minutes." I tell her.

"Oh." She says twiddling her fingers. "Why did he bring you here today."

I don't know why, but I don't think I should tell Tori about how Four is allowing me to go in my fear landscape.

"I asked him to. I didn't really see much of Dauntless yesterday." I say shrugging.

Just then Four walks in, two trays in hand. He sits down on the stool next to me, and places a tray next to me.

In front of me is what seems to be a wedge of dark brown, rich, bubbly, bread frosted with a lighter darker coat of cream. I tilt my head, and draw my eyebrows in looking at it.

"It's cake." Four says rolling his eyes. "It's sweet, try it."

I poke it with my fork. It sinks in, and I take a small bite of it. The cream is sweet, and the solid, bread-ish part melts in my mouth. I take another bite. I've never in my life thought something could be this sweet.

Tori laughs, and sits on the table, next to where my tray is. She takes a bit of my cake and throws it in her mouth. "Stiffs don't eat cake?" She asks.

I shake my head.

"Then what do you do for birthday?" She asks.

"Stiff's don't celebrate them." Four replies for me. I suddenly wonder how he knows that.

"Well, now I know why they're so dreary." She replies, taking another bite of cake. Four does as well.

"Yeah." I reply. "It's because they don't get a piece of cake for birthdays." I say my eyes rolling.

Four smirks. Tori coughs.

"So, what do you want to do after this?" Four asks me.

I just shrug. "What do you think would be fun?" I ask.

"Four doesn't like to have fun." Tori says. "He just likes to mope around and scowl, and complain."

Four's eyebrows draw in together. "Tori likes to stay inside buildings all day." Four snaps back.

"See?" Tori says gesturing toward Four.

I laugh. "I know."

Four's eyes now glare at me. "I'm serious. What do you want to do know?"

"Why don't you let her hang around the initiates?" Tori says.

"Why? So I can risk someone finding out she's been playing factions? So she can be factionless?"

I look at Tori.

"It's not like they're going to know who she really is. They'll know her the way you introduce her to them." Tori points out.

I look at Four.

"If you already don't know, Eric likes to injure anyone I become friends with."

I look at Tori.

"It's healthy for a person to be around the same age group as themselves." Tori says.

I look at Four.

"I am her age group." He says.

I look at Tori.

"You are not. You're older." Tori says.

I look at Four.

"By two tears, and only by two years. And besides, when I introduce them to her, she'll have to say she's fourteen."

I look at Tori.

"So you'll introduce her to them, right?" Tori says hopefully.

I look at Four.

Before he can answer though, I say "Please."

He looks at me, he tranquil eyes engulfing me into an unknown, but comforting place. He sighs.

"Okay." He says, and I grin.

I hop over a rock, and it reminds me of how Caleb and I would jump around the patchy sidewalk to our home. I blink multiple times, fending off tears. I can't afford to ache for my brother, not after he left, and certainly now, when I am about to meet a few initiates.

"Which initiates are you going to let me see." I ask Four. He walks briskly, and I have to jog to catch up to him. "The Dauntless Born's."

"Names?"

"Marlene, Lynn, and Uriah."

"The one who's afraid of being crushed by needles, the one afraid of being violated, and the one who's simulation you didn't let me see."

Four stops, turns so quickly, I almost hit his chest with head. "You won't tell them I let you see that." Four says.

"Obviously." I say. "I'm not stupid."

He grumbles. "I know your not." He mutters. "You have a lot of...wit." He says, walking again.

I wait for what he is about to say next. I already know what it is.

"You're to smart for your own good." He says.

I scowl. "I'd rather be too smart for my own benefit, than stupid for my own good." I snap. He just chuckles.

"Yes, but people don't look at the stupid ones. They're only interested in the clever ones."

"Who looks for the clever ones?" I ask, walking almost at the same pace as him. H frowns, not clenches his jaw. He won't tell me.

What a shocker.

We reach the door that Four told me was the training room earlier today. There are three kids there, too old to be younger then sixteen. On the other side of the room, there are three other people, older then the sixteen year olds. They have similar features.

"Hey Four!" The boy across the room says. He has darker skin, and brown eyes. They match the features of Uriah, the boy who's simulation I did not get to watch.

"Zeke." Four says, emotionless. "What are you idiot-_guys_ doing?" Four says, saying that on purpose.

"The _idiots_ are shooting pastries off each others heads." The girl with hazel eyes says. Her features are similar to Lynn, the girl with a shaved head, and who fears being violated. She sticks her tongue at, who I assume, is her older sister.

Zeke, I think his name was, laughs. Then his eyes shift to me. His eyes narrow. "Who's she?"

"This." Four says gesturing to me. "Is...Tori's niece."

"Hi." The girl who teased her little sister says, walking-hopping- up to me. "I'm Shauna." She takes her hands out. I try to shake it firmly.

"Tris." I say.

"Oh. I think I saw you with Four yesterday...why were you with Four?" She asks confused.

"I was watching her for Tori." Four says before I can even reply.

Lauren frowns "How old is she?"

"Fourteen." I answer.

"And you can't watch yourself?" Zeke says.

Four snorts. "Her middle name is Trouble." I scowl at him.

"Hey, so is mine!" Uriah says coming up. He puts his hand on my shoulder. "I think we might be relatives, right Zeke?" Uriah says.

"Your related if you have the same last name, dummy." Zeke says rolling his eyes. Uriah lets go of me and punches his brother in the arm, hard.

"Whatever." Uriah says. "You are..." He says saying to me.

I am about to answer, but Four cuts in. Again.

"Tris." He says for me. I stomp on his foot, hard.

"I know my own name." I say glaring at him. He's answering everything, like he thinks I'm not capable of doing it myself.

Four's face pinches, with a sour expression. He turns to his friends. "See what I had to deal with?"

Uriah laughs. "Want to try to shoot a piece of cake off Marlene's head?"

"Sure." It hits me, that I should ask him his name, since I'm not supposed to know. "What's your name?"

"Uriah. The girl with the cake on her head is Marlene. And the girl that never smiles is Lynn." Uriah says jokingly.

Four goes on the other side of the room, and takes a dark bottle from Zeke's hand-beer. I never thought Four could hang so loose, and I certainly never thought he likes to get drunk.

"He drinks?" I ask Uriah.

"Yeah. Only when he's stressed though."

"Do you know him well?"

"Known him for around two years. He's also one of the instructors. The girl with the pierced eyebrow is the other. Her name is Lauren." Uriah says.

"What's his real name?" I ask, hoping he knows.

He frowns. "Um...I honestly don't know. I never really asked him after he said his name was Four."

He turns, and shouts. " Hey Four! What-" I cover my hand over his mouth to keep from asking.

"Don't!" I say harshly. "He's gonna know I asked you then!"

He has a mischievous look on his face. I feel something wet stroke my hand. He licked it.

"Eww." I say, my face puckered. "Gross."

"The cake is going to melt! Someone hit it already!" Marlene says.

"Cake doesn't melt, Mar." Lynn says.

"Whatever."

"Here." Uriah says giving me a revolver.

"You don't actually want me to shoot her, do you?" I ask him, my eyes wide.

"It's has plastic pellets inside, calm down." He says laughing. "Hit the cake. If you hit the middle of it, which s marked by a smiley face, I get to eat it."

"Where'd you get this idea from." I say aiming.

"This morning. She dared me to shoot a muffin off her head. I told her she wouldn't stand there as I tried. This is just something we decided to do after."

I inhale. I aim at the symbol of the frosting. I exhale, and pull the trigger. I white piece of plastic comes out of it, and flies. It sticks into the middle of the face.

"Whoa." Lynn says. "Nice aim."

I shrug. "Thanks."

"Almost as good as Four's." Marlene says. I hope Four didn't hear that. Luckily he is far on the other side of the room, sipping the dark bottle. He talks to Zeke and Shauna, and Lauren seems to be reading the label of the beer bottle.

"I dare you to shoot at Four's bottle." Lynn says.

I bite my lip. Four would be mad. But it is a dare, and the Dauntless don't turn those down. So realistically, this is part of my act. So I have to shoot at it.

I just tell myself this, just so I can throw the pellet at him. He isn't drunk yet.

"Fine." I say. "But right after, I'm making a run for it." I say, pressing the hat harder into my head.

"So are we." Uriah says. "I'm not staying in a room with a pissed Four."

He smiles, and I just know he has another idea. "How about we shoot all of there bottles."

"Awesome!" Marlene says. "I'll shoot at Lauren's, Tris will shoot at Four's, Lynn will shoot at Shauna's, and Uriah, you shoot at Zeke's."

I snicker at the idea.

"On three." Lynn says quietly. "One. Two.. Three!"

We all shoot. Uriah's, Lynn's, and Marlene's hit the bottles., making them crash to the floor.

I aimed mine at Four's head. The shock makes him drop his. The plastic pellet richochets onto the floor. His eyes go wide, and his head turns to glare at me.

That's when all Four of us dash.

"Get them!" We hear Zeke's voice shout. The door opens again, and footsteps are on our heals.

"Split up?" Marlene suggests. We all nod.

I decide to go near the tattoo parlor. It is almost dark out, but I don't want to risk being caught, and I know that area best.

Unfortunately, Four knows that too. I hear his footsteps, and I hide behind the tattoo parlor.

"Tris, I swear to God!" Four says, clearly upset. I can't help but let out a whispered laugh. He turns to the building, looking behind it, where I hide. I have to move somewhere else and fast. I tiptoe around the building, deciding to go in. It is locked, and I know Tori must have closed up. I knock on the door, and she opens it.

"Where's-" She starts, but I cut her off.

"Shh!" I say rushing in, and closing the door. "He's going to find me."

"Who?"

"Four."

"So?" She says confused.

"I shot a plastic pellet at his head." I admit. That seems to explain everything.

She laughs. "I know where you can hide."

"Where?"

"I can sneak you out the back. Next to the training room is a hidden hallway. Just go..."

She gives me directions to this hallway, and I sneak out the back. Four is looking near the die, so I rush out from the other. He must have seen my shadow though, because his footsteps quicken, and so do my own.

Luckily, I lose him just before I hide in the hallway.

I look from the corner. Surely enough, Four is there. The hallway is dark, so no one will be able to see me in this lighting. I have to remember to thank Tori for this.

"Tris!" He calls out. "Tris, come here. Now." He says.

"Did you find them?" Zeke comes out and asks. He is breathe-less, probably trying to find the vandalizers, of which I am included.

"I know Tris is somewhere here." Four says. "I just don't know where."

"I'm going to go check the dormitories." He says.

"If your looking for Uriah, check the dining hall." Four says. "It's almost dinner, and he wouldn't miss the chance to get food."

"Good idea." Zeke exclaims. "Man, if I find him, I am going to slap so cake on his face, and cookie dough up is butt." He says shaking his head.

Four smirks. "When I find Tris, I am going to give her a piece of my mind..." He says.

I gulp.

I hear Zeke run off, and I hear Four's footsteps come closer. He is near the hallway.

Please don't look here, please, please don't...

And he walks off, passing me. I let out a light relieved breath.

And then a pair of hands clamp down in front of my wrists. I shriek as those hands pulls me against him. My face is close to his. I feel his breathe on my nose.

"Why!" He says shouting at me, his eyes narrowed.

I laugh. "I was dared to do it. Wouldn't have been odd if a dauntless-born girl who has been here for Fourteen years, turned down a dare?" I say innocently.

"Did you have to hit my forehead?"

"I was aiming for the bottle, but your huge head got in the way."

"Tris." He sighs. "You really are trouble."

I laugh, and a few moments later, he lets out a forced chuckle, but after a few seconds, it comes naturally.

"Come on." He says. He fixes my hat, which is angled to hide the top half of my face. His lips touch my forehead for a slight second, before the hat covers it. "Dinner."

I smile as I hurry to catch up with him.

As Four leads me to the dining room and makes me sit down in the corner, so the members don't see me, I notice the transfers walk in. There are two sets of them, the girl with dark bronze skin, the boy with shaggy blond hair, and the other boy who is the tallest, broadest, initiate.

And then the other set includes a girl with crooked teeth and a bulbous nose, a boy with rotten carrot, orangish hair, and another boy with shiny hair and wicked smirk.

I remember him. He's the boy,-Peter. Four told me what he can do with a butter knife. I shiver.

Them Shauna walks in, crushing Lynn's fingertips so hard, they are blue. She looks for Four, and he jerks his head at me, at the table. Shauna comes, scowls, and drops Lynn next to me.

"Well." Lynn says. "That was kinda worth it." She says. I laugh.

"How did Four treat you when he found you?"

"He yelled at me." I say.

"That's it?" She asks incredulously.

"Yes." I say. "Why?"

"Well, it's Four. I half expected him to snap you in half. And you hit his head! I thought we were aiming for the bottle!" She yells.

"I was." I say. "But his head got in the way."

"Hah." She says. Still not smiling.

Zeke comes in, out of the kitchen. Uriah's face has cake on it as promised, but Zeke shirt drips with soggy cookie dough.

Zeke's fingertips pinches his brother's ear. Uriah doesn't seem to be effected by it. He is laughing so much, his face radiates, and he is breathless. Shauna points at the table, and he walks toward us with an angry expression. He pushes the still-laughing Uriah into a chairbut he falls right off, clutching his stomach from laughing. Zeke shakes his head and leaves, letting Uriah stand there.

You'd expect people to be watching us, but the other tables are just as chaotic.

And then lastly it's Lauren coming in with Marlene. Zeke points at our table, and she make Marlene sit there. Lauren has another bottle in her hands.

"She let me go. I just had to buy her another drink." Marlene says smiling. She looks at Uriah on the floor. Still laughing.

"What happened with him?" She asks.

"I shrug. Lynn just shakes her head.

"Oh, God." Uriah says still in hysterics. "Zeke threw cake in my face, and was about to put some cookie dough in my pants." Uriah says taking a few deep breathes, and laughing some more. "And then I kicked his foot, and his hands hit his shirt, with the cookie dough!" Uriah says, laughing more.

"And if that wasn't enough..." Uriah says looking at all of us, sitting on his chair again. "He tripped, fell against the sink, and it turned on, and the water sprayed all over him!" Uriah says.

Now we all laugh, looking at Zeke. When we look at them we see Shauna, Four, and Lauren chuckling as well.

"So... How was it for the rest of you." Uriah says.

"I had to pay for a new bottle." Marlene says.

Lynn says, "I don't have blood circulating in my arm."

"I got yelled at." I say.

"He probably has something set up for you, or something." Marlene says. "I'd watch my back if I were you."

I roll my eyes. Four knows I was kidding. Besides, the re is only a small welt on his forehead, a small scar. It should heal in a day or two. He rubs it.

"When are they getting here." Uriah says gesturing toward them in the line. "I'm starving."

"You have cake on your face." Lynn says.

"Oh. Yeah." Uriah says, wiping it on his hand, and licking it. Marlene takes some frosting off his cheek and licks it from her fingers.

"When Zeke gets here I'm getting the cookie dough on his shirt." Marlene says. "Dibs."

"Mar, it's wet." Lynn says.

"Cookie dough is cookie dough."

Just then the four of them sit down, beside each person that threw the pellet at them. So Four sits next to me.

"Where's the food?" Uriah asks.

"It was too much to carry. Someone will bring it in a few minutes." Lauren replies. "Gee. You and Zeke both have the same appetite."

"So..." Shauna says. "We all decided that we needed a little more payback for the little incident today."

"So we all made a pretty good deal." Zeke says, smiling like the devil.

We all wait expectantly. Then as if on cue, they each pop a colorful bubble in front of our face. The one Four pops on me is black. Liquid pops onto my face, and onto my clothes.

"Come on!" Marlene complains. "I just got this!" Marlene says pointing at her shirt, which is sprayed with yellow along with her face and hair. Uriah's is the same, except purple. Lynn has Pink.

At least mine was black, so it didn't make much of a drastic change on my clothes. My face however, drips with black pain, and smells like fish oil.

"Revenge is sweet." Four says, his lips brushing my ear.

I wipe the paint from my face, and press it gently, but firmly onto his cheek, my hand-print perfectly placed on his cheek.

"I know." I say.

Uriah gets the idea, and tries to do the same thing, but ends up slapping Zeke in the middle of the face. It is not the way I did it.

Marlene wipe her hand on her face, and presses the painted hand print on Laurens sleeve. Lynn does it on her Shauna's head.

Just as the hand-printed victims of ours are about to respond, dinner is placed in front of us.

And we eat, and all is forgotten.

_**Well, that was long :D Hope you guys like it!**_


	7. Chapter 7

"You sure about this?" Four says, his eyes slightly narrowed.

I take a deep breath in, thinking about my options. I could, in fact, turn and not do this. Or I can see the things I am most fearful of.

I let it out, and decide.

"Yes."

"Would you like to go in it yourself? Or do you want me to come too?" Four asks.

"Is that possible?" I ask surprised. It never came to mind that two people could go into one hallucination.

"Yes. It depends who's simulation it is programmed to." Four replies simply. "It's your choice, though.

I remember how Four and I watched the initiates simulations. "Is it possible that you can't watch this?" I say. "No offense, but I'd rather keep my nightmares to myself."

He frowns. "If that's what you want, fine. The system is set to end, so once all your fears are over, they won't be recorded into our files."

I nod. What else is there to say? Or to think, for the matter?

He nods in response, and takes a needle out from a box. I don't know I got here, just that we climbed a few stairs on the way. He told me about the needles before, that it has two parts.

Four moves my hair out of the way, his fingers gliding over my neck. He plunges the needle on the side of my neck. I croak. Needles don't bother me at all, but it is huge. I can feel the cool liquid enter my veins, and I shiver. Four is too focused to notice.

"It'll start in a few seconds." He whispers. "I'll stay out of the room. I'll be there when you're done." He says, a little reassuringly.

I just nod. I haven't talked in over a minute. He frowns.

"Say something." He demands, quietly.

I shrug. "When will it be over?"

"Once your done with all your fears." He says looking down.

I have to ask as many questions now. I already know how to face a fear, so I can't ask that.

"Once I face all my fears, does that mean I'd be fearless?" I ask. "Like the Dauntless?"

He straightens, looking at me. "No. The Dauntless aren't fearless. They know how to act and what to do when they're scared, and they know how to control it. Your fears may change over time, and you might have that fear disappear as well, but trust me, it is impossible to have no fears." He says sternly.

"Okay." Is all I say to his little outburst. "Is that all?" I ask. Is there something else I should know?

"Yes." He says. "Remember, unlike the simulations, in the fear landscape, you know you are in a simulation, unlike the fear serum."

I nod, and I feel the effects coming.

He pinches his lips. "Tris?"

"Yes?"

"Be brave." Is all he says before the world around me changes.

I feel dizzy. I don't know why. The grass grows around me, until it stops, right at my waist. I am in a huge field. Something is on my shoulder. It is heavy, and fat. I turn, and when I do, a crow peck- hard at my cheeks.

I try taking it off me, but it pierces it's talons into me, and i feel like I am bleeding.

I panic, flailing, until the thing goes away. It doesn't. If anything, it goes further into my skin. I scream through clenched teeth. I look up. All around me, are the wings and talons and beaks of millions of crows, heading toward me. My eyes widen. My feet won't budge.

"Hey!" I scream at my feet. I sob, as the birds engulf me, a cascade of piercing pain.

A bird pecking my legs, One biting my arms. The whole time, the first crow does not leave my shoulder, and squeezes tighter.

I feel weak.

I want them off me.

I relax. What point is there in fighting? I lay there for eternity, when all the helplessness is sickening me, and I jolt up. The crows tear my hair from the back, trying to making my lay down again.I scream in frustration. My very few muscles, clench in anger. I put my hands on the ground.

_This is a simulation_ I think to myself. _This is not a real threat._

But the stupid crows break my concentration.

I can't possible be afraid of _crows._ It has to be something else. But I am to weak to think what it is.

Then it all clicks. I am afraid of being powerless. So what is the opposite of powerlessness?

Power. And I first felt powerful when Four taught me to use a gun.

And the hand I put to the ground becomes metallic and cold.

My gun. Four was right.

I shoot the crow on my shoulder, and it explodes with blood and dark feathers. A few fly away from the loud blow.

I start shooting the others, and they fly away,a ll of them. I feel calmer.

And then something flashes, and everything changes again. Now I see my reflection. My hair is longer now, over my shoulders. It is wavy. I see my too-wide blue eyes, and my long thin nose. I touch it. It isn't a mirror. It is glass.

My feet feel wet. Why are me feet wet? I look down, and water fills the tank.I gulp. It is up to my ankle now. I try breaking the glass.

Something in the back of my head says it won't work. It won't work unless I am calm. I am everything but calm at the moment.

I think back to the last hallucination. I imagined feeling power, and my gun came. What would help me here? The glass is stronger then me. It bounces back with every hit. I try again. The water is on my chest. I breathe deeply, closing my eyes, my hands against the glass.

The glass is stronger. It will be weaker if I will it to do so.

The glass is ice. New, freshly frozen ice. The water is up to my neck, almost taking away my air. It fill the tank. I covered in silky water.

I hit the tank again, and it cracks. As easily as breaking ice.

That's two.

When that thought leaves my mind, something crashes into my back, as hard as concrete.

I am in an ocean. Another wave hits me, bringing me down again. Every time I come back for air, it does it again, teasing me.

Another wave hits my side. I scream, my arms up. I find a jagged rock.

I try desperately to climb it before another wave hits me, and I succeed.

But once I do, I am back into a new fear. My hands are tied with ropes around my body, onto a huge stake. There are logs under me. Someone sets a match and fires it under my feet. I look up to see who it is. It is the man I tried to give those dried sliced apples to the day of the aptitude test. I feel heated, but not from the fire, of anger.

"Well, Stiff." The man says. "I told you to choose carefully. Did you?" He says, and then cackles. More factionless are behind him, laughing as well.

This is fire. The opposite of fire is water. I don't want a cascade of water. I just want a few drizzles to stop the fire. The second I think this, the cloud grays.

The factionless keep laughing. I laugh back, mocking them. "Next time you try burning someone outside with wooden logs tied up to a stake, check the weather forecast." I snap. And the water falls. Just in time, because, I feel the fire burning my toes.I sigh, and let the water wash over me. This is a calming kind of water.

And then I am in another fear.

It is a terrifying panicked fear of kidnappers coming for me.

I sob, as the faceless men open the door. I hide in my closet. I am in Abnegation, I realize, in my parents home, not my own.

I feel helpless again. I remember what I did with the crows. I have down this with four other fears. I feel more confident on what to do now.

I slide a panel back, and find a gun there. As the pale bodies come in, I shoot. I keep shooting, and I feel tears come down.

Simulation. I have to remind myself that.I close my eyes and fire blindly, taking deep breathes. And then a flash. I sigh. Five done.

I hear a click behind my head. I open my eyes. My mother, my gather, and my brother stand in front of me. "_Shoot them."_ a cold hearted voice says. A circular, metal, cold, gun is aimed on my head. "_Or I'll shoot you."_

This is different from my other fears. It is not terror. It is panic. What I do here will stain my life. Forever.

The cold voice counts down.

I bite my lip.

"It's okay Beatrice." My father says. He nods. He seems so sure, so confident. I never saw my father like that before. My lip trembles, and I bite it harder.

"Beatrice." It is my brother. I gasp. "It's okay." He says nodding understanding.

The cold voice is at five.

I hate my brother for leaving. But I still love him. He is my brother, and I haven't seen him in weeks. Looking at him here, now, with me in this state breaks my heart. I shake my head.

The voice is at three.

My mother nods. "I love you." Is what she says.

I remember when she told me that. In the choosing ceremony, when she knew I wanted to move to a new faction, one where I belong. She told me that when she gave me the necklace. I look at my ankle, where the shining black dauntless flame shimmers, as if it is a real burning flame.

It was a thank you from her, for caring enough to stay for them.

I stayed for my family, for my brother. I know what I will do here, I know what I would do if this was real life.

I close my eyes as the women counts to zero. I lean back, waiting for the blow. I hear the bang, and that is all.

I am back in the room. A sob so powerful comes out of me. It is so powerful, tears spring in, and I fall to my knees. My face contorts, and i crouch into a ball. I wrap my hands around my knees, pulling them to my chest, letting the tears stream past.

"Tris?" I questioning voice says. It could only be Four. He comes up to me, his hand awkwardly on my crouched shoulder. I don't look up.

"Tris." He whispers. "Tris, it's over." He says, his voice wrapping around my name. His hands wrap around my crouched, small body, holding me tightly. I lean into him, because I can not support myself.

I stay like this until I feel calmer, and once I swallow what had happened.

"It's too late to go into the trains, especially in the abnegation sector." Four mumbles. "We should go in the morning."

"Where do I stay now, then?" I ask, wiping the tears out. They stopped falling now.

"With me." Is all he says, before helping me up.

I follow him into his apartment. He closes the door once I am inside, locking the door. He holds my hand and leads me into his room. "You can sleep on the bed." He says. My cheeks warm.

"I can sleep on the floor." I insist, as he puts an extra pillow and blanket on the floor for himself.

"You could." He says. "But you won't." He says with so much force, I know debating is useless. It is ten thirty. I frown. I went into my landscape at ten twenty two.

"How long was I in there?" I ask Four, walking around his bed, before sitting on it, pulling my legs onto it as well.

"Ten minutes. You went through it pretty fast." Four says nodding. His eyes slightly narrowed. "It takes most people twice as long. How many fears did you have?"

I count. "Six."

Four's eyes widen. "Not bad for a Stiff." He says sitting on the floor.

"Thanks." I say rolling my eyes.

"You didn't answer my question on where you got the anklet." Four says, laying his head on the pillow. I lean across the bed so i can look at him.

Like before, I can't bring my mother into this.

I bite the inside of my lip. "I found it on the train." I say, lying.

He glares at me. He knows I'm lying. "If you don't want to tell me you can just tell me that." He says folding his hands up on his stomach.

I frown, and nod. My hand print from earlier is still on his cheek. I washed the paint off and changed right fore going on in the landscape. Four just changed his clothes. "You still have paint on your cheek." I remind him.

"I'm aware of that." He says, yawning. He is tired. I am awake and alert after experiencing true fear. Fear isn't the same as being scared. Fear is a feeling the writhes into the pit of your soul, and brings to the surface who you really are.

"You're not going to wash it off?"

"In the morning." I murmurs. His breathing is becoming slower. I decide not to say anything more. His breathing is even, and I know he is asleep. My hand falls off the side of the bed, and my fingers graze my palm-print on his cheek. I smile remembering the fun I had tonight with the Dauntless-Borns. I turn back on Four's bed, burying my face into his quilt. It smells like him, but faintly.

My eyes droop, knowing that tomorrow, when I go back to the Abnegation sector, a part of me will miss what happened to me during dinner. But the other part of me will cherish how much I love my parents.

And the other part will wish Caleb was here to join us.


	8. Chapter 8

When I go back to the Abnegation sector that morning, I take my time walking back. It is so early, the sun is just rising, and some parts of the sky are still dark, but it is still bright enough for me to navigate my way to my house.

I changed my clothes back to the grey robes and slacks on the train ride back to the northern parts of the city. I left Four, still sleeping on the floor, alone in his apartment. I didn't want to wake him up, considering the fact he has initiates to torture in the morning.

When I reach my house, I sigh with relief. I never thought I'd find it in me to like my own house. It's big enough to support a whole family, but I leave them empty. I consider it more room for me. My parents on the other hand take it as extra guest rooms for people who don't have a place to spend the night, because there car crashed down, or some other excuse.

I open the door, and lock it behind me. I stifle a yawn. I plan to spend the rest of the day in Abnegation, once I do my job for Four. I might go to the Amity, maybe to help them pick apples. If Erudite hadn't banned all the Abnegation from entering their compound, I might have gone to see Caleb.

But I realize, then that Robert is now in Amity. I might not be too close to Robert, but he is the next closest thing I ever had to another brother. The next best thing to Caleb.

Of course, Susan is another viable option, but she was too close to Caleb, and I suspect it to be in a romantic way. Caleb's departure might have more effect on her, more than it had to me. I wouldn't know; I've never felt that way, personally with anyone. Nor do I expect to.

Robert. After my daily routines that take less than an hour, I will spend my day working in the Amity fields to help harvest apples, and hopefully, find Robert amongst the initiates.

After my little 'mail run,' I take a bus that goes close to the gate. The next stop is still about half a mile to the gate, and I suspect it will be more walking once the guards open it for me, but at this point, I am desperate to see a familiar Abnegation face. I love my parents, but there are just some things you can't tell them about. Of course, I will keep my chat with Robert brief, and I will make sure not to tell him anything too personal, but I think I can trust him with matters that I wouldn't feel comfortable conversing about with anyone else.

The jolts to a stop, and I get out of my seat, almost tripping on my slacks. Once I come out, the bus runs off. I head toward the outskirts, until I see the tall gates, and the bulky dauntless soldiers guarding it, guns in hand. They look threatening, and I wish, suddenly, that I had taken the trains, since one of them holds my gun.

They don't draw the guns out, though. I am a 'Stiff,' as they put it, and probably won't cause any harm.

If only they knew that for the past week, I've been practicing my aim with a gun, and have gotten pretty good at it.

One comes up to me. "And what does the little Abnegation girl want?"

I try not to wince at the strange way he refers to me to as.

_I'm sixteen, for crying out loud! _I want to say, but that would be stupid.

"I was wondering if you would be so kind as to let me help the Amity with the harvest, at the orchards." I say, as politely a possible.

"Name?"

"Beatrice Prior."

He takes out a gadget from his pocket. He taps on it a few times, and smirks.

"Turned sixteen, huh? Chose Abnegation, initiations over for ya...and your parents work for the government. Impressive." He says nodding in approval.

I suppose that gadget is a way to identify people who go in and out of the city.

They open the gate for me, and watch me closely as I walk through. Once I'm out, they close it again, and I head for the orchards.

A few amity are already there, climbing trees to pick the ripe apples, and to put them in crates, which are inside a truck. They will most likely be sent to Abnegation, so they can see what they can give to the factionless, and how much to give to each faction, depending on the population.

They smile at me as I go near them. "Here to help with the harvest?" A girl with a strawberry blond braid asks me. I nod, and try to smile too, but I don't think it looks sincere.

The Amity seem to take it either way, and they go along with strumming the banjos, singing, picking apples, and laughing.

I don't know why I don't like the Amity. It's not that I hate them. It's just that I can never fit in with them, and I know I wouldn't be able to, no matter how hard I try. So I try picking apples, as far as I can reach, grasping the tree trunk as I try climbing higher, to get more of the fruit. I also try climbing higher, to see if I can find Robert. To my dismay, apple trees just aren't tall enough.

I sigh as I pluck three apples, and hold them all, skillfully in one hand. I slide down the tree, the bark scratching my fingers, but that is the least of my worries. I put the apples in the crate, and while I'm on ground again, search the area for Robert. To my surprise, I'm not the only one in gray. I guess many of the Abnegation also like to spend their days helping with the harvest.

"Some of them help us in the kitchen too." A familiar voice behind me says. I turn to see Robert, smiling, and his hair shinier then I ever recalled. His hair, usually curly, is now wet with sweat, probably from harvesting.

"Robert." I say smiling with relief.

"Beatrice. How are you?" He says, conversing with me in an Abnegation matter. When I hear my full name again, I jerk a little. I have been talking to Four and the other Dauntless for too long, I almost forgot my name.

"Good, thank you. Actually, I came here to see you." I say in all honesty.

"I'm glad for that, he says staring at me. "Do you know how my family is now? Is my sister okay?"

"They didn't come for you on visiting day?" I ask intrigued.

"They did." He says closing his eyes. "It's just that when I asked them if they were okay , they told me they were. But they're Abnegation. Even if they werren't okay, they wouldn't want to trouble me with it." He says frowning. "And Susan hasn't been herself lately. Though, I guess it could be because Caleb switched to Erudite."

I look at my shoes.

"Beatrice, I didn't mean it like that." He says, taking back what he said. "It's just Susan, and Caleb were always...you know!" He says turning red.

I smile at him, forcing it through my lips. "I know. Actually, that's why I came here today."

"Hmm?"

"Well, I can't go to Erudite. They forbid any Abnegation from going there. And well, since I can't see Caleb, you were the next closest thing I had to a brother." I say, sheepishly. It's not everyday you go up to your old neighbor and say they're like a brother to you. Not that it isn't true.

His smile broadens, but it doesn't meet his eyes. "So, is my family really okay?"

I think back to them-They're one of the fifteen families food donations for the factionless. I think back to every time I've been going there. I remember them smiling, a little sadly at first, but then getting back on there feet.

"They're fine." I assure him. "Anyways, how's Amity?"

"It's..." He says looking for the right word. "Incredible. Wonderful, Peaceful. I don't know why anyone would want anything else.

I wonder how everyone keeps smiling and hugging people. It's kindness, I suppose.

"And how's Abnegation?" Robert asks, stretching to get a few apples. I follow his lead-factions aren't allowed to associate too much.

"Good." I say.

"That's not what I meant. I mean, are _you_ enjoying Abnegation?"

Am I?

"Of course. I'm with my family."

"Yeah." He says, loading the apples in a cart. "I'm not with my family, but I'm still happier than I've ever been here. Sure, I miss them, but I know they are in a place they belong, and I am in the place I belong."

I am silent. I know I am not in the place I belong. I know, because every selfless thing I do is for my benefit. The factionless food decline-I do it so Four can give me things so I can do Dauntless acts. When I watch the trains every morning-I do it because I envy how free the Dauntless can be. Even now, I came here in Amity to help the Harvest-just so I can talk to Robert.

I'm more selfish in these past days, than I have ever been in my whole life.

But then I remembered. I stayed in a place I can't stand, for my family. That has to count as selfless too right?

No. I stayed in Abnegation so _I_ can be with my family. It is the most selfish thing of all.

"I'm fine, Robert." I lie. "Just fine."

He frowns. Someone calls to him to help in the kitchen. He looks at me, and mouths the words 'Goodbye.'"

I smile in return. After Robert leaves, I decide to walk back to the gates, and once they open it, walk all they way back to the nearest bus stop. The train tracks are closer, and the train might come any minute, but I can't ride it now. Not while wearing gray.

Once I reach the bus stop, I need to sit down. By legs are numb from walking, climbing, walking, standing, and then more walking. But all the seats are taken, so I need to stand. I hold on the bar above me to keep myself from falling off.

"Hello, Tris." A voice next to me says. It a boy, with dark hair. He wears black, and has black sneakers. He is sitting down In a seat, but no one sits next to him, on the window seat. He probably doesn't want anyone sitting next to him.

He scoots down, closer to the window, and pats the chair he was just on, gesturing for me to sit.

I slowly sit down. "Four." I say acknowledging him. I look at the time. It is seven-o-clock. He must be done with initiates. "Why are you here?" I ask quietly, so no one else knows that I am talking to someone in another faction.

He whispers back to me, "You know, you should have woken me up before you left. A lot of bad things can happen that early in the morning."

"So you're here to ground me?"

"No, I was going to the Abnegation sector to come pick you up. We're going to Dauntless again."

"Why?"

"You made quite an impression last night. Uriah and Marlene want to see you again."

I light up at this.

"I'll get off at this stop and walk to the tracks. They'll find it suspicious if an Abnegation and Dauntless walk out together. You wait until the next two stops, and you head toward the tracks. Bring black clothes." He says.

I nod, and he gets up, and the next thing I know, he is gone.

I wear my black clothes under the grey ones. The slacks and robes are so big, I have no trouble hiding the black. I walk toward the trains-it is almost dark. I see Four, sitting on the gray rock.

"Took you long enough." He grumbles.

I look at my clock. "It's only been ten minutes since I last saw you."

His face changes color. He gets off the rock, and we wait for the train.

"When is it coming?"

"Two or three more minutes."

I kick the ground, just to relieve the awkwardness.

"Why were you on the bus today?"

"Got bored." I say. "I went to Amity. Saw my old Abnegation neighbor."

"Oh." He says. "I was thinking of introducing you to the transfers tonight. Well, actually I was planning on Uriah to introduce you."

"Why can't you?" I don't want to admit it, but I prefer it when Four is closer. Sure, he snaps, and growls, and can shoot a gun pretty well, but I know he wouldn't hurt me. I know he'd help me, if I needed it.

I don't know why. Four hasn't exactly made the "friend" mark just yet, but he's close to it.

"I don't think it be a good idea to hang out with my initiates in my spare time."

I give him a look. He chuckles. Okay, maybe _I_ don't want to hang out with my _initiates_ in _my_ spare time. They're to _annoying_."

"And the Dauntless-Borns aren't?"

"That's different. Their annoyance is tolerable."

"Which transfers?"

"Obviously not the butter knife guy, Peter and his crew." He says sharply. "But I suppose you can meet Al, Christina, and Will."

I nod, and the train comes. He gestures to me. "Ladies first."

"Okay, go ahead." I say.

He glares at me, and pulls my wrist toward the train. He jumps, and pulls me in with him. He pushes me down onto a chair, his hands wrapped on the armrest, cornering me. He leans his face in closer, and glares at me. "Apologize."

"Or else what?" I say. I know it's not a good idea to get on Four's bad-side, but I'm too stubborn. Besides, I still have that feeling that Four won't hurt me.

"Or else I'll confiscate your gun." He says simply.

My face drops. He won't hurt me, but he will reprimand me.

"I'm sorry." I mumble out. He smiles, winning this argument. I cross my arms, and legs on the chair, and he sits on the one next to me.

He doesn't say anything for a long time, and I get that feeling that he is looking at me. I look at him, but he does not take his gaze away.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Did you want to choose Dauntless?"

His question catches me off guard, and I almost fall off the chair, but I grab the armrests before hitting the ground. I bite my lip.

"Four!" I exclaim.

"It's a simple question." He says simply. I don't think he even moved an inch. "In fact, it's a yes or No question."

I open my mouth, about to lie, but he stops me again. "And will you please honestly tell me."

Since when does he know me so well?

I sigh. He knows the answer, but he wants me to say it, he wants to know for sure. I look at him.

"Yeah." I say. "I did."

He just nods. I decide to take my gray clothes off. Luckily the shirt and pants are right under them.

Once I am done, he asks, "Why didn't you?"

"My brother." I say. "He didn't leave me an option." And I feel selfish anger toward Caleb. If he had chosen Abnegation, I might have went to Dauntless.

He nods again. "Few more minutes till we're in the compound."

I nod.

"We'll go through the net."

Another nod from me.

We jump off a few minutes later, and I wait, to meet the people that might have been my friends.


	9. Chapter 9

Four jumps onto the net first. He looked sick, and it seemed like he was trying to coax himself into jumping off. He mutters something under his breath that doesn't sound very pleasant. He finally jumps off, and when he yells, "Clear!" On the other side, I jump off too. The net hits me hard, and again, I can't stop myself from stifling a groan. Four's hand shoots up, and I grab it, almost rolling off, but he catches me.

We're in the hallway, just next to the dining hall. "Remember. When Uriah walks you in, he'll introduce you to the transfers. Don't say anything stupid. Don't even think about anything stupid."

"No hat?"

"Uriah's bringing it." He answers.

When Uriah comes a few seconds later, with the hat, I feel nervous. I did well meeting the Dauntless-Borns, but the transfers are another story. I might start thinking about what I would do if I were an initiate here. I might feel envious, and that jealousy could effect me back home, at Abnegation.

I have to remind myself. That is my home, this is a small peak of what life could have been.

I gulp as Uriah plops that hat on my head, a little too hard, but that is the least of my worries.

"You okay Tris?"

"I'm just not used to meeting new people." I say, even though I met him and other members of Dauntless the past month.

"Relax. Mar and Lynn will be there." He says. "Besides...transfers aren't that wussy."

I force a smile. We walk in the dining hall, and head for a table near the back. There, Marlene, Lynn, and the three transfers sit. I recognize them as Christina, Will, and Al.

"Hey there, rookies." Uriah says merrily as he clamps a hand on my shoulder. I try not to wince.

"You know, just because we're rookies doesn't make you a sensei." Christina says sharply.

"Whatever. Anyways, we forgot to tell you about Tris."

"Hi." I say sheepishly.

"Tris." Will says. "I'm Will." He says taking his hand out. I shake it once, and try to hold it firmly.

Right. I'm not supposed to know there names: Or fears for the matter.

"Nice to meet you."

"This is Christina, and Al." Al waves. Christina beams.

"Dauntless-Born? I don't think I saw you at all during initiation." Christina remarks.

"I'm only fourteen. I don't go through initiation for another two years." I lie.

"Oh." She says frowning.

I sit next to Uriah and Marlene, across the transfers.

"So, I heard Peter ranked first for simulations." Uriah says. "That sucks."

"Yeah. You know, you'd think he'd be emotionally disabled, stabbing someone in the eye, and all." Al says.

"I heard about that. Edward, right?" I say.

"Yeah. Too bad. He was kinda nice..." Christina says, then purses her lips. "Okay, so I didn't know him very well. Still, what Peter did was not right."

We all nod. Except Al, oddly.

"So, where were you guys last night? We saw you guys eating dinner with Four, Shauna, Lauren, and Zeke." Will asks. "And why did Four have a welt on his forehead?"

"We were messing with pellet guns, and we all broke there alcoholic beverages." Marlene says, trying to sound like Will.

"Except this one here..." Uriah says jerking a thumb at me. "Aimed at our instructor's head."

"And what did he do?" Al asks, his eyes wide.

"He yelled at me." I reply shrugging.

"That's all?" Christina asks. "You know, you'd think he'd give a good beating or something."

I make something up. Of course, Four would do that. He doesn't to me though, since I am not really Dauntless probably, and doesn't want to accidentally kill me after a punch.

"And he threatened to take my gun away." It is half true.

"Seems legitimate." Will says. "But still, you'd expect _Four _to give you some sort of payback, don't you think?"

"He has to respect her." Marlene says, a wry smirk on her face, "She's Tori's niece. If he messes with her, the next time he gets a tattoo, it won't be what he expected."

Of course. Why didn't I think of that excuse?

"Anyway." Uriah says changing the subject. "What do you rookies want to do today?"

"We're not rookies." Christina says, angered.

"Your a rookie until initiation day. But..." Uriah says. "You can get out of your rookie title on a certain...condition."

The way he says it, you can tell that it's going to be bad.

Christina, Will, and Al look at each other, with horror on their faces. "And what's that condition?" Al asks.

"Go up to Eric and steal one of his piercings." Uriah says, devilishly.

"I'd rather wait until initiation day." Will says.

"Same." Christina says, her hands up in surrender. Al just nods.

"Fine. Poke Four then."

"Is that better or worse?" I say.

The table ponders this for a while.

Zeke comes out to the table and sits near Uriah. "What are you guys thinking about? Why the sky's blue?" He says jokingly.

"Actually, we're wondering who's worse. Eric or Four." Marlene says.

"Four." Zeke says without even thinking about it.

"Then why are you two friends?"

"Because. We get along. Oh, and he's worse because during initiation" Zeke says looking over his shoulder, to make sure no one is listening. "Four beat up Eric so bad, he lost a tooth."

The whole entire tables mouths drift open. Four, the guy who comes by train practically everyday to escort me here, managed to beat up Eric, who he now avoids?

"I never told you guys that." Zeke says pointedly. We all nod.

The real question now is if I should be wary of Four, since he knows one of my secrets, or should I trust him more, since he is capable of winning a fight against a Dauntless leader?

* * *

_****_"So, Tris." Al says. "How good are you at fighting?"

I stiffen. If I say I'm okay at it, then they might want to test me. If is say I'm terrible about it, they'd know I'm not really Dauntless.

I've been quiet too long, and my silence must say I'm not that good at hand to hand combat.

"It's fine if your not." Lynn says. "My sister, Shauna, completely sucked at fighting during her initiation. Of course, she's better at it now-"

"How'd she get better?" Uriah questions.

"Four would train her, almost every night, during initiation."

"I wonder how Four would do now, if he and Eric got into an all out battle." Marlene says. "It would be fun to watch. My bets on Four."

"Mines on Eric." Lynn says.

"Why?" I ask too incredulously. I don't know why the fact that Four fighting Eric, and losing, bothers me.

"Well. Eric is a Dauntless leader now." Lynn says. "Sure, Four might be better at fighting...but he's not stupid. He wouldn't risk making Eric lash out."

Lynn makes a good point, but I'd rather not spend my time at Dauntless talking about Four. He occupies half the thoughts in my mind at home, anyway.

"What are we doing today?"

"Well." Lynn says. "We could play capture the flag."

I try, really hard, not to ask what she means by that.

"We can't leave Dauntless without supervision." Christina points out.

"We can ask Zeke." Uriah says.

"Then we'd have nine players. We should probably try to keep it even." says Will

"Shauna, then." Lynn says, and shrugs. "Zeke and Shauna do everything together nowadays anyway."

"We can ask Lauren and Four too!" Uriah says, smiling. Lynn whacks him in the head, in what looks like a painful way.

"Don't be the instructors pet, Uriah." Lynn says, scowling.

"Actually, Lauren is not our instructor anymore, my dear dear friend." Says Marlene. "And Four is fun to mess with. It's not capture the flag without him.

"You know, our team still wants a rematch from the annual annual capture the flag game." Lynn says, her eyes mischievous. "Your team barely won anyway. And I'm sure Eric would want another chance to beat Four..."

I refuse the urge to say 'huh?'

"So your plan is..." Marlene says.

"Follow me." Lynn says, and starts speed walking. It is hard to keep up at pace with her, and soon, she is running, and we are all running after her, like a pack of wolves. I grin, as the air whips my hair.

When she stops, we are in a glass building. "Why are we at the pire?" Uriah says.

"To talk to Eric." My stomach drops.

"Why?" Christina says.

"We can persuade him to make another flag game. Well, I can. He likes me, so I'll try to persuade him." She replies.

"It makes sense. Eric, the malicious, like Lynn, the sixteen year old who punches people for no reason." Uriah says. Lynn punches him, before going in.

"So." Will says, awkwardly. "Tattoo artist for an aunt, huh?"

I nod.

"You know, I could have sworn I saw you in my year at school." Christina says. "Wearing gray."

I give her a look of confusion, not nervousness. Confused, because I never thought anyone would notice me. I'm not pretty, and people can look at me for hours, and forget how I look the next day. She must have taken my look the wrong way.

"Or not." She frowns. "I don't know. You do look kinda, well, Stiff."

Thankfully, Lynn comes out just at that moment. I don't know how I would have responded to Christina's comment. I remember she is from Candor. She has sixteen years of practice to know when someone is lieing. I should be wary of her.

"We can play again tonight." She says grinning. "As long as he and Four are captains."

I sense a bit of rivalry between Eric and Four, though I do not know why. I'll ask him about it later.

"What time?" Uriah asks.

"Midnight." Lynn replies. "Let's go tell Four."

"Training room?" I suggest.

"He's always there." Uriah nods. "Let's go for it."

* * *

**__**We find Four and Zeke aiming guns at targets. They make a loud noise, so I can assume that they are real bullets in the chambers. They fire constantly, so they can't hear us. They are focused on aiming, so they do not acknowledge us. We decide to wait until they run our of bullets. Once they do, Zeke turns, sullenly, and Four smirks, obviously triumphant.

"Zeke! Four!" Uriah shouts. They both turn, and look at us. Four does not look happy. I remember what he said about not wanting to talk with his initiates in his spare time.

"What is it?" Four asks, a little worried. He gives me a look of confusion, obviously wondering if I blew my cover.

"Eric called a rematch for capture the flag. Your a captain, tonight, midnight." Lynn says.

"Gee, thanks for my consent." Four says rolling his eyes.

"So you don't want to play?" Marlene asks.

He looks at me. "Of course I will. I'll let Shauna and Lauren know. Let other people know to. If they want to play, to meet us at Navy Pier."

We all nod. and the initiates and Zeke scurry off to spread the news. I turn to follow, but Four stops me.

"You sure you want to play?" He asks, his brow scurried. Even when he looks worried, his dark-blue, almost black, color look thoughtful. He must be different from the other Dauntless, I realize, since they always act, but they don't usually think about the consequences.

"Yes." I say for certain.

"Well, lets hope you didn't get any visitors from Abnegation tonight." He smiles, but looks worried.

"I don't have friends in Abnegation. My parents don't come to my house, and I go to theirs on Sundays only." I inform him.

"So that's why you don't usually watch the tracks on Sunday."

His comment gets me off guard. He could only know that if he has been there, and hasn't seen me. My face brightens. I should have told him that before, so he would know not to look for me then.

I look up to see he is faintly smiling. If only there was a way to smack the look of his face. "What?"

"You blush a lot. It's amusing, really." He says pressing his lips together.

I groan.

He wraps his long fingers around my forearm and tugs a little. "C'mon. Let's work on your aim a little. You'll need it for tonight."

I smile as he hands me a gun, with nervous energy buzzing in my gut.

I turn and aim at the target.

* * *

**I know, I am going extremely slow with this story. Well...thats the point. I know most of you are waiting until they get together, but they didn't kiss this soon in the book, and I don't think I should make them yet. They are still distant from each other, and well, in the real book it took them 338 pages until they went to that part. Im sorry I didn't uupdate in a while either. To answer some questions, NO I DID NOT GIVE UP ON THIS STORY. It's just that I took a break from Divergent, I caught up on PJO, read Mark of Athena (went into a book depression cuz they fell...) and now I'm somewhat upset because Theo James is Four. He just seems to old in my opinion, but lets hope he acts like Four (looks don't matter.)**


	10. Chapter 10

I've started on updates on all my current stories...i just don't know which one to update :/ I have started...  
1) Insurgent: Four's Story Chapter Twelve (The scene after Tris in Truth Serum.)

2) The Fire Within Chapter Thirteen (The Capture The Flag rematch.)

3) Divergent: One Shots (It's called Courage, it's Natalie Prior's POV of when she was saving Tris from the tank.)

IDK WHAT TO UPDATE! so I guess it's your choice :) I think I'm leaning torward updating this one, since I got so many good reviews on it, and not to say PLENTIFUL. I mean HOLY CROW. over 90 reviews, I never expected it to have so many reviews...

Let me tell you the issue with this story though...I have no idea where it's leading to. I literally just jump on my computer and think, "Hmm, what should I write about for the next chapter." I don't like getting suggestions for the what should happen next, for two reasons. A)Then someone could read the review that suggested it, and would know what would happen next. B)I like surprising myself with a new plot.

BUT! I really want to finish up the One shot with Natalie, since it was her last thoughts, and I tend to do a good job when it is about a character facing a death that is to come, and either accepting it, or fighting it.

AND! I really want to finish up Insurgent: Four's Story before Summer vacation ENDS. As far as I know, no one has finished writing a fanfic for Insurgent in Four's POV...which is a pity, since I really like those (especially wee kraken's one.

so can you guys help me choose what to update next? I started on all three, i just can't pick which one to finish!AHH.


	11. Chapter 11

Four teaches me some more Dauntless techniques-including how to fight. I am not especially good at it, but it was worth a shot, and at least I now know that if I ever get attacked from behind, to use my elbows and wrench them back, and if I get attacked from my front, to either throw a punch, or kick.

If Four is nervous about his rematch at the game 'Capture The Flag,' he does not let on. He looks as normal, and mysterious as he always is.

"So, why would you agree to a rematch?" I ask. "It's not like you need to prove yourself worthy here."

Four shrugs, leaning against a wall, as I try kicking the bag again. "It's just...this year, my team won out of luck. We did nothing strategic, or clever to win. We could have done better if we tried." He explains.

This comment makes me think Four pushes himself too hard. He trains initiates, and works another job. He takes any challenge he can, and wins. It is no wonder I've seen initiates (not including Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn, since they know him personally.) fear and respect him, as if he were a Dauntless leader.

"What rank were you?" I ask Four. It couldn't have been to great, if he works on a computer, and trains initiates for a few months.

"I was first." He says. I almost fall hearing that.

"Um..." Is all I can manage out. From what I know, the highest ranked person can get any job, and have a shot at being a leader. If Four was first, he could be representing Dauntless in the council.

"To answer the question in your brain." Four says, taking a knife on the table, near the wall where he leans. He twirls the knife between his fingers, like it's just a toothpick. " I didn't want a government job."

"Why?" I say before the word processes in my mind, the punching bag in front of me forgotten.

"You know how corrupt Eric is? What makes you think the other leaders are any different, any less cruel?" He questions, his face red.

"But you could change that." I point out, walking closer to him. "You can make it better here, and in the city."

He shrugs. "I just don't want to, Tris." He says. "You wanna work on knife throwing?

I nod, fully aware that he is controlling his anger, and changing the subject. He hands me the knife, looking at his shoes as he does. I go in front of the target, and practice stance first. It may be foolish, but stance matters a lot when learning to aim. I then try without a knife, targeting my best chance to throw it. I feel silly, and stupid, throwing invisible knives, but I want to learn how to do this right. Four comes next to me, but I don't look at him. I need to focus, and it takes a lot of my will power to look at the board, instead of turning to him scowling, and asking him what he wants.

"Hurry up with that knife, Stiff." Four says impatiently. "We have to be by the trains in fifteen minutes."

I nod, not taking my eyes off the bulls eye. I have an idea of how it might work now, so I throw the knife. To my surprise, it hits the middle spinning blade to handle, but sadly does not stick.

"Not bad." For says nodding, impressed. "We can work on it more soon. We have to hurry, come on." He says, grabbing my arm and pulling me with him toward the tracks.

Once we arrive, a whole crowd of people wait to be on the train. Four orders me to go next to the initiates, and I oblige. I stand next to Christina, who doesn't seem to mind my presence.

"I'm glad you're here." She whispers. "I like Will and Al and all, but it sometimes gets a little irritating to be the only girl."

I nod, agreeing with her. It would be awkward being the only girl in a group, but I can only imagine what that's like. I feel a little pity for Uriah, being the only boy, when it's with Marlene, Lynn, and I. No wonder he looks up to Four. He's the only boy he can talk to besides his brother.

The train comes, and the more experiences Dauntless leap into the carts. The younger initiates, and I, take a deep breathe before jumping in. I look back and see Eric, the Dauntless leader jump in. Following him is Four, who grabs the handle and pulls himself in, as if he had been doing it all his life.

"Let's choose the transfers first." Eric states, and I realize how venomous his words are, like if anyone dare speaks up to him, he'd set you on fire.

Four however, takes the challenge by saying, "Let's just pick people at random, it'll be faster." He disagrees.

Eric glares at Four, and Four glares back. The whole entire crowd watches them, probably expecting a fight. I would too, if I wasn't looking at Four in wonderment. He refuses to be a leader, but speaks out against one, and is willing to fight for it, even if it is a silly thing like how to choose people for a team.

"Fine." Eric says. "But I get to choose five people first, and you have to choose _four._ Then we choose one by one."

"Fine. I don't need more people to win." Four says a small grin on his face that looks almost predatory.

Eric scowls but chooses five people immediately. "Peter, Al, Drew, Molly, Lynn, get over here." He barks.

Once they walk over, Four speaks, but has to yell, since the Dauntless are now whispering to each other. "Tris, Will, Uriah, Marlene." He says.

"Picking the weak?" Eric chuckles, and my face feels hot as I walk over to Four. "Gabe." Eric says.

"Christina."

I stop listening as Eric and Four call out more people, and soon the crowd of Dauntless is now split into two, Eric's team surprisingly bigger, while ours are build narrow, excluding a few people.

If these two sides are to fight each other, Eric's team would win, but I suspect capture the flag isn't a game of strength: it is a game of strategy and speed. I adjust the paintball gun that I retrieved from Four, and put the strap against my chest.

When it is time to jump, Eric's team jumps off first, Eric going last. He looks at Four, pointedly, as if jumping off the train before him shows how he is better than him.

When it is our turn, I feel nervous. What if I don't jump as well as the others, and what if they say I don't jump like a true Dauntless? What if this is the first time I actually fall?

I jump after Will, taking a few breathes before I do. I look back, and Four is the only one left from our team. He waits for me to jump.

I bend my knees and leap, and when I do, I run a few more steps so I don't fall flat on my face. I smile.

Four walks right next to me. I gape at him. He walks ahead of me speed walking toward the team, and he does so casually, like he just walked down the stairs and started walking on flat ground again, instead of jumping off a speeding train.

I try catching up to him, but it seems like he doesn't want me to. I frown, slowing down my pace. Of course he doesn't want to be near me in front of the other Dauntless. I would just get in his way.

I scowl. He thinks that I am an embarrassment, or he wouldn't feel the need to avoid me in front of a crowd.

I need to prove him_-them-_wrong.

I stay near Christina and Will, since Uriah is near Four, and so is Marlene.

"Can't believe Al got picked on the other team again." Says Will shaking his head, his pale green eyes closed. "He's going to be miserable when their team loses again."

Christina laughs, and I smile a bit as well. It's admirable, how much faith Will has on our team.

"Let's go to the carousel again." Will shouts, once we're far from Eric's team. "Eric's team will rule out that option, since we were there last time-reverse psychology."

They all shrug and follow suit. Four doesn't say anything either, so we head toward Navy Pier. As we get closer, I am able to spot the Ferris Wheel. It is old and rusty now, but I imagine how it might have looked years ago when it actually worked. I imagine white rungs, and red carts.

When we reach the carousel-a circle of eerie, scratched horses, under a gazebo-like roof-Four leans on the white horse, with one eye scratched out. It's paint withers.

"We have to make a plan-a good one this time. We almost lost last time, and won by sheer luck. And Eric's going to give all he has for this game, so we have to up our game as well." Four shouts, authority raining out from his deep voice.

"We should send a small search party, and look for their flag, while the rest of us hide behind trees and attack if the other team gets too close to the flag, and some other people should guard the flag right up front." Christina says, babbling a little.

"No, that would take too much time, and with low chances. Lets hide the flag somewhere good, and then look for their flag all together. If we have guards protecting the flag, they'll know where it is. If we hide it in a place without people watching it, they'll move on. Why search a place that has no guards?" Uriah says.

A dozen other people start arguing, some defending another's plan, other making their own. My voice feels too small to shout over them, and I doubt any of them would listen, or if I had any ideas to begin with.

I look around, and notice Four does not acknowledge the arguments. He just looks up at the sky, dotted with stars, since there are no lights to hide them-city ordinances say to turn off the lights by midnight.

I see the muscles in his biceps as he folds his arms, and how is gun is strapped against his chest like mine, his shirt tight enough so I can see his collarbone, but loose enough that I can't see how his abdomen is shaped. His eyes gleam from the moonlight, so they look like a brighter shade of blue then they really are. His ears stick out on the side of his head, and his nose is hooked. His lips are spare on the upper, and for the bottom lip, they are full.

I look away quickly as I realize I have been staring at him for too long, and what I have been looking at. I shouldn't be so focused on him, after all, he refused to associate with me in public.

You don't know who your real friends are until you see how they act around you in front of other people.

A chill goes through me. I called Four my friend, though I see him more as an instructor, like the other initiates, and I think he sees me as one of the transfers.

I refocus on the game, but the crowd keeps on arguing. It seems that people are now arguing on how much to send on a search party, and who should guard.

I frown. We won't know anything about where the other team lies without scouting for them first. And to that is to elevate to a high point to see the location of the other teams direction.

I look at the Ferris wheel behind me, and back at the crowd of Dauntless in front of me.

That is when I start walking to the huge wheel, without another choice in my mind.

I jump as I step on the rung, to see if it will crumble beneath me. To my surprise and pleasure, it does not.

"Tris." I low voice says beneath me, his voice soothing almost. I'd know it anywhere.

"Yes, Four?" I say as casually as possible. I sound like I've been caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?"

"Climbing a Ferris wheel." I say, like I've done it a thousand times before, although inside, I am a shaking, nervous wreck.

"I don't suppose there would be a way to get you down." He says sighing.

I look down and give him a look.

"Didn't think so." He says, expecting my answer. "Wait up, I'm coming."

"Why?" I growl. "I can do this on my own, you know. You don't have to follow me." I say, that need to prove myself surfacing on me, and burning my skin, bubbling like lava.

"I don't? Really now." He says, and I have a strong urge to smack him.

"Really." I repeat climbing a few more rungs.

"Too bad." He says, and I hear him climbing after me, though I have a head start. Maybe he is coming with me so he can take credit for some of the fame, but I know that's not it. Four doesn't care about fame, which means he is coming for me. I don't know whether to be flattered by that and smile, or to be irritated and smack him upside the head.

"I'll be fine on my own." I assure him, but I know once Four starts something, he is not going to give up.

"Undoubtedly." He replies, sarcastically probably. His voice is closer, which means he is catching up to me.

I keep climbing until I see a reasonable place to stop: on a platform. We are however, several hundred yards below it.

"So...what do you think the point of this exercise is. The game, not the climbing." He says, his voice croaked.

"To..." I breathe out, nervously. I don't know why. The height does not scare me. "To learn about strategy. Team work, possibly." I say.

"Teamwork." He says, and laughs, but it sounds too panicky to be a laugh.

"It doesn't seem like a Dauntless priority." I admit.

"It used to be. It's supposed to be." He says yearningly. His breathes are deep, and shallow.

"Four?" I ask, grabbing another rung. "Are you okay?"

"Are you human, Tris?" He retorts back. "Being up this high, it doesn't scare you at all?"

I don't realize how high I've climbed. I stop, and look down. I see myself falling, hitting rungs as I do, my bones bending and cracking.

And of course, at that moment a big blow of wind hits my side, and I shriek and lose my grip on one hand, and my left foot jumps. I feel a cold hand on my waist, firm and strong. Four squeezes my waist, and guides me back to the rung. I hold my breathe as I feel one of his fingers glide over the skin above my waistline, and my face feels hot, but I don't think it is because of the almost falling off thing.

"You okay?" He asks concerned. I nod, a little shakily.

_Keep going. _I tell myself. And I do, and Four still follows me.

We climb, rung by rung, until we reach the platform. I swing myself over it, my legs dangling under the wind, which blows my hair across my face. I look back at Four, who leans as far away from the edge as possible, leaning back, and breathing hard. His eyes focus above him.

"You're afraid of heights." I say. "How do you survive in the Dauntless compound?" I ask, thinking about all the glass floors, and high elevation.

"I ignore my fear." He replies. His eyes close. "When I make decisions, I pretend it doesn't exist."

I can't stop myself from staring at him. I knew the Dauntless weren't fearless when I went through my fear landscape. Four said six fears was a low number, which means other Dauntless had to have a number of fears. I never really thought about what a person would do if that fear turned out to be real life. Four ignores his fears, but what if he ever comes across a moment in his life where he has to acknowledge his fear? Will he run from it? Face it? Overcome it?

"What?" He murmurs. I have been staring at him for too long.

"Nothing." I say looking away. My cheeks feel hot, and I am glad that it is dark, so he doesn't see me blush. I look at the setting, trying to see where the other team is. But a building blocks my path.

I look above me at the maze of bars from the wheels scaffolding. Maybe, just maybe, I can climb it, wedging my foot between the supports and crossbars.

"I'm going up." I announce to Four.

"Four God's sake, Stiff."

"You don't have to follow me." I tell him, and place my right foot between two bars.

"Yes, I do." I grumbles, and he follows me. He pulls himself easily, which I think is rather unfair, considering how exhausted I am already. He barely breaks a sweat. He is however, panicking. I can tell, the way his hands shake a little, and how his muscles are clenched.

I keep climbing, and I focus on places to shove my foot into for me to climb, looking up every few seconds to see anything that can help us.

I laugh inwardly. I'm risking my life to play a game in a faction that is not mine.

The next time I look up, I am able to have a clear view of the skyline. I see the city, and my heart leaps, happily. I feel alive, and free. The sight is beautiful. I can even see the Hub, and I feel connected to Abnegation here, even when I am betraying them being here in Dauntless.

And then I see a light on the ground, moving around inside a camouflage of trees.

"Look." I say, pointing at the light. "See that?"

Four halts to a stop once he is directly behind me. I look back and see his chin. When I am this close to him, I see a scar on it, and I also notice how his lips go downward, like mine.

"Yeah." He says, as his downward lips turn up in a smile, his lips curling. "At the end of the pier, near the park. Figures. It has open space, but the trees hide them well. Obviously not enough."

"Okay." I say turning, so that I am facing him, my hands clutching the bars that are now behind me. I realize how close he is to me, how tall he is. I notice how his jaw clenches , and how he has some facial hair near his jawline.

"Um." I say, biting my lip. I clear my throat, and continue. "Start climbing down. I'll follow you.

He nods, and takes a step down. His legs are long, and his body is lean, so it is simple for him to wedge his foot between the bars of the scaffolding.

I step on one crossbar, and it creaks. It falls, and I gasp, clawing for something to hang on to, and I grasp a bar. My feet swing in mid-air, and I am too short to place my foot on another.

"Four!" I shout.

"Hold on!" He yells back. "I have an idea."

He climbs further down, and at first I think he is leaving me here, and I feel betrayed. A part of me knew that I shouldn't have trusted Four to tell him I wanted to choose Dauntless, about faction before blood. He was too vague, and he never even told me his real name.

I close my eyes. If I do slip, I will try to grab another rung Then maybe I can climb the rest of the way. But I don't The part of me, that sees no logic, and does everything through intuition, tells me to stay, to trust Four, that he wouldn't especially leave me up here.

I hear a long creaking moan. I feel like something is pulling my downward. The wheel moves, and I am getting closer to ground.

I sigh with relief, and let out a laugh. It is better to laugh, than be tense, so that is what I do.

I need to fall soon, or else the carts will drag my body across, and that would be painful, and not to mention the fact that it would kill me.

I drop to the ground, and fall on my knees, crumpling to the floor. I don't think-I just roll, and the cement scrapes my cheek, and I feel gravel on my chin. I roll just under a car, but it does not hit me-it just skims my shoulder.

A sigh that relieves all my tension. I cover my face with my hands. I hear Four walk up to me. His long fingers wrap around my wrists. He tugs gently, and my palms wall from my cheeks. He guides my hand between both of his own, and they relax the soreness of my knuckles. I can't breathe.

"You all right?"

"Yeah." I say. I still don't breathe.

He let's out a laugh, and I blink wondering if he lost some of his sanity up on the wheel. But soon, I laugh too, and he pulls me up. I am just the height of his collarbone, and I breathe in his scent. He smells like sweat and metal-like the training room. We are close again-about six inches between us. The wheel moves behind us, and whips my hair around my head, just like it did when I was climbing it.

I scold Four on our way back. "You do realize that the if the Ferris wheel was turned on before we climbed it, we could have rode all the way to the top."

"I didn't know it worked." Four says, and I see his grin in the darkness. "I took a risk. Come, let's go steal us a flag.

He freezes for a few seconds, hesitant. Then his smile broadens, and he takes my arm, and pulls me with him to where the rest of our team awaits us.

**ALOT OF YOU HAVE BEEN ASKING ME TO UPDATE THIS STORY... I MEAN LIKE THIRTY PEOPLE. SO I HAD TO UPDATE THIS ONE :) I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. I'LL PROBABLY UPDATE INSURGENT: FOUR'S STORY NEXT, SO YEAH, THANK YOU PEOPLE!**

**PS: To the guest who said "when will tobias and tris get together!update this one and do some fourtris,"**

**They'll get together when they get together. Enjoy the plot, not just the romance. I'll do fourtris when I feel it is the right time for them.**

**AND TO PolkaDotHeart: thanks for the advise, I think I will...writing the one shots do help me think of new plots. The thing with this plot line is, is that I know how I want it to end, and I know what I want to add, it's just that I want to find a way to make it unique, and simple, but I also want to do it in Veronica Roth's style, so the character sounds like Tris...**

**ALSO can you guys tell me if Tris gets to off character, or Tobias for the matter, or any character. I want this to be as on character as possible, or else it won't be a fun fanfiction to read :)**


	12. Chapter 12

Four pulls me toward the rest of the team. A few faces are missing, and I realize that they must have sent out people to scout the location of the other team.

Marlene looks at us and her eyes light up. My cheeks go red once I remember that Four fingers are wrapped around my left wrist. His fingers are long and narrow, and not to mention rough. I use my other hand to cover my cheek as I realize he still hasn't let my hand go, even though we stopped walking and everyone stares at us-well, they stare at Four. After all he is the team captain.

"We sent the others out to scout the location." Says Marlene smiling. "I hope that's okay."

"Perfect." Says Four, his eyes glinting with childish mischief, but he still holds his leader's stance. "That means they won't get on our way, and that'll get Eric's team off guard."

"Won't get in our way of what?" Says Christina, who sits on the carousel's edge.

"We know where they are." Four says, and I feel my face getting hotter when he says the word "we," like it has more meaning to it.

And suddenly, it is like they all realize that the wheel is moving. They stare at it in wonderment.

"You turned on the Ferris wheel?" Someone in the crowd screeches. "Now they know where we are, idiot!"

"Yes, but that doesn't matter. We know where they are, where they're headed, and where the flag is." Four shoots back at the shrill voiced girl. "It wasn't on while Tris climbed it. We had to make it work in order to get down." He explains.

"You climbed a Ferris wheel?" Uriah says nodding in amazement. "You have earned my newly found respect."

"What now?" Christina says, and they all look at Four.

But Four does not say a thing. He stares at me, gesturing me for any ideas. I feel the eyes of others watch me, and the only thing that crosses my mind is that his fingers slide away from their grip on my wrist, and are entwined by my fingers. He squeezes, urging me to make the plan. How am I supposed to think if my mind is bewildered by the fact that Four is holding my hand?

I let my mind imagine the scene Four and I saw of the other team. An idea sparks.

"Four of us go to the right of the pier, the remaining three go to the left. Eric's team is in the park, at the end of the pier. The team of Four attacks, while the group of three sneak behind the ambush, and steal the flag."

They look at me dumbfounded, that a little girl, that is supposedly fourteen thought all that up.

"Sounds like a plan." Shauna says, grinning. "Let's go, shall we?"

* * *

Christina, Uriah, and I go as the group of three. Four had to be on the team doing the attacking, because he had a good aim, and good battle reflexes. My stomach dropped as his fingers slid away from mine, but it is time to end this game, and to decide who would win and who would lose.

All three of us run, me having to take twice as many strides because of my short, uncoordinated legs. Uriah starts shooting paint balls at the guards, and takes down the last one, who yells in frustration as she throws her paintball gun on the floor. The flag is tied to a branch in the middle of the tree.

Christina and I look at each other. We both want that flag. And only one of us can get it.

We both start to climb, but my hands are still sore from climbing the Ferris wheel, and my legs are numb. I climb as fast as I can, but I am exhausted, although alert. Christina and I are at the same distance from the flag, but it is no use for me. Her pace is faster-after all, she didn't fall off a Ferris wheel a few minutes ago- and soon, we both reach the flag.

"Come on, Tris." She says, scowling at me. "You don't have to prove anything. It's not your initiation."

That comment stings me. It is true. It is too late for me to prove what I am worth. It is not my initiation. Although Christina means that it isn't my year of choosing-since she thinks I'm fourteen-I feel like she shot me with bullet that went through my stomach.

She snatches the flag while I am dazed by her comment. My face falls. She climbs down, and jumps the last few feet, and screams in victory.

I stay in the tree for a little while longer, as her words sink in.

"You don't have to prove anything." Meaning I can't prove anything to Dauntless.

I shake my head, and as hear our teams whoops of winning and glory, I climb higher up, all the way to the last branch of the tree, though it takes me a while. I let my legs dangle off it, my hands firmly hugging the bark of the trunk to keep me from falling.

It is then that I let the tears fall, because I don't belong to my home faction, because I do not act like them. I do not belong to the Dauntless, because I made the wrong choice to stay in a place where my soul doesn't belong. And I do not belong with my family, because the beliefs they taught me are not what I believe in. I do not belong with them because I am betraying them while I stay here in Dauntless.

I do not belong. I am selfish. A selfish person living in Abnegation.

The tears stain my face, and taste salty, and make my face feel raw. I feel my eyes getting red, and I wipe them with my fingers before letting more fall.

I hear my name being called from below. Four.

"Tris!" He yells, and his voice echoes. "You up there?"

I say nothing, afraid that my voice will rip if I strain it too much.

"Tris! Everyone already boarded the train!" He shouts. "We'll have to wait for the next one!"

I sigh, taking in as much air as possible, and letting it out in an exhale that allows me to see my own breathe.

I climb down. I feel better now, and before I reach the ground, I wipe the tears of my face. When my feet meet the earth once again, I feel warmer, and not as nervous. Four stands in front of me.

"There you are." He says sounding relieved. "The next train will come in an hour."

"Sorry." I say. I didn't want to keep him from going with the others.

"Don't be." He says smirking. "We have time to ourselves now."

"For what?"

He raises his eyebrow, and that mischievous glint in his deep blue eyes are back.

He takes my hat, presses his lips to my forehead, and then turns to run.

I takes me a few minutes to decipher what had just happened.

And when I do, my eyes widen with shock. "Hey!"

And I run after him.

* * *

I have looked everywhere for him. But he just disappeared. I groan at his little foolish game.

I never took Four to be so childish. He always seemed to be the one to be so serious. But yet here I am, looking for a hat, and a Four, at about twelve thirty at night.

I know he can't be anywhere high off the ground. He wouldn't risk having a panic attack. I have looked at the pier, the park, and even the carousel. I haven't checked the marsh though.

I look over the marsh, and how it resembles pictures of swamps that I have seen in my geology book at school. Murky, muddy, and slimy.

"Took you a while." Says a voice behind me. I turn, and I meet a hooked nose, spare upper lip, full lower lip, and dark blue eyes. I scowl.

"What was that for?" I shout.

He snickers. "You looked like you needed some fun. Your always moping or glaring." He says. His thumb strokes my chin. "Like now."

I stop scowling. "The hat? We have to go back soon."

"We have time. The train comes in forty five minutes."

"I should probably head back to Abnegation. I'm going to see my parents for dinner tomorrow night, and my house is a mess and needs to be cleaned." I explain. "And not to mention your favor."

"That's_ tomorrow_ night, and you can get to my favor in the morning." He says, frowning. "Stay with me. Just for tonight."

I shake my head. "It would be best."

He sighs, knowing I'm right. "But you need to get cleaned up. You're covered in marsh water."

I examine my clothes. I have no marsh gunk on me, so what is he talking about?

That's when snakes his arms around my waist, bends his knees, and jumps into the swampy marsh, dragging me with him. I hold my breathe before I fall in, and the so called "Water," is thick, and oily, like swimming in gasoline. Four's arms are still wrapped around me, as he pulls me back up to fresh air.

He is covered in slime and black marsh scum, as well as dirty muck. I look at me clothes again, and I know I look the same way.

"Oh no." He says, and I just know he's trying not to laugh, as he squeezes my waist which is still trapped by his arms. "Looks like we'll have to get cleaned up."

I jump on top of him, and he is shocked enough to slip, and be submerged into the swamp again.

We do this for a while, splashing dirty muck, and kicking each other under "water", until we hear the train horn.

* * *

**UPDATED! :D I DON'T THINK THIS TURNED OUT THAT BAD...**

**CAN I REPLY TO THE GUEST COMMENT OF "EYE ROLL,"?**

**A) Author's Note said I wasn't going to update in a while. I;ll update when I want to "woman."**

**B) I did take pain meds. I didn't have dental wax because my orthdontist didn't give me any, so the brackets kept pinching my cheeks and it's hard to focus when that happens.**

**C) Yes two major tests, and no I don't study 24/7, but I don't stay on the computer and type all day either. End of quarter grades are coming up, and I plan on trying to keep an a-b average.**

**D) I'll watch video's if I want to, who are you tell me what to do?**

**E) Who said I was quitting this story? What of "A one week break, tops." is not understood?**

**F) I know I can read. I'll read as many freaking books as I want, and I'll let it consume me, because that's what good books do. I'm in a book competition. You read books to the very last detail, and answer complex questions of the tiny details. For the next month or so, I'll be reading for almost every minute of the day, and honestly, writing this story is going down my top list of priories.**

**G) My excuses are legit, and I don't know if you know this, but I have a life outside me room with the computer. I have other things to do. Your comment dissuades me to write.**

**H) Quit YOUR whining, and stop rushing me. I only write when I feel like it, because when I try to think of words when I am not in the mood, it turns out CRAPPY. Do You WANT A CRAPPY CHAPTER?**

**I) My useless AN? I could have written a chapter instead of the AN but I didn't, wanna know why? BECAUSE THE FREAKIGN AN SAID I WASN'T GOING TO UPDATE IN A WHILE.**

**YOU GOT ME SO PISSED I GOT UP TO POINT I! THAT 8 REASONS! GEEZ! You can't just pressure an author to write. Stephanie Meyer for instance. She stopped writing after people kept pushing her. SO STOP PESTERING ME TO UPDATE FASTER. I update once a week, and they are LONG chapters. I have TWO OTHER STORIES to work on as well. I AM A STUDENT, MY EDUCATION MATTERS.**

**the end.**


	13. Chapter 13

We walk toward Four's apartment, me glaring, him smirking.

"I'm awfully sorry that you had to fall...I suppose you have to stay here till morning." He says mockingly.

"You pushed me." I state flatly, but he laughs.

"Well, only because you refused to stay. You wanted to leave to the Abnegation sector at midnight." He says. " And you're staying the night. That's that."

I scowl. I need to be washed. Which means I'll have to shower. Which means I'll have to change.

"I don't have spare Dauntless clothing." I say, frowning.

"I'm sure Tori will help with that."

"But-"

He places his finger to my lips, stopping my voice. My heart rate picks up. What is he doing?

"You're staying the rest of the night. I'll escort you to the Abnegation sector at six thirty. That gives you about five hours to take a shower and rest a little. You are tired, after all.

He's right. My eyes feel heavy, and I'm not walking, I'm trudging.

He takes my silence as his victory, and he takes my hand and walks me all the way to his apartment. There are only a few Dauntless up at this hour, and there all drunk, so no one pays attention to us.

He shuts the door behind him, and places his fingers on my back, between my shoulder blades. "The bathroom is over there, knock yourself out."

"You need a bath too." I say, gesturing to his clothes, and his face which is still murky.

"I'll go after you."

I don't debate, so I run into the bathroom. I take a warm shower, and the swamp water washes out of my skin, and I feel pure again.

I walk out of the bathroom, my feet leaving footprints of water behind for him to clean up, but hey, it's his fault. I never would have had to taken a bath if it weren't for him.

I wrap the towel around me, and when I walk out Four is out of sight. I see clothes on his dresser however, and they seem to small to fit his frame. He must have left them for me.

I put on the shirt, which is black and has a skull drawn on it, and the sweat pants that are a size or two bigger, but they'd work. Once I'm done, I run my fingers through my hair, and separate the knots, and pull my knees to my chest while sitting on his bed.

"Well, I guess this means it's time for bed." Four says leaning on the frame of the door. His hair is wet.

"Took a shower at Tori's." He says answering my question. "And you can have the bed."

"You really should have an extra mattress around." I say.

"I could. But I won't." He says making a place for himself on the bed.

I lay on his bed, but the shower made me more awake than before, and all the events that happened prevent me from having sleep. Four's breathes are not steady,, but they are brisk. He's still awake.

"Four?"

"Hm?"

"How many more days of Dauntless initiation left?"

"Five more days. Three more simulations. A day off. Then fear landscapes."

"You said, once, that someone always jumps off." I say."Do you think you'll be wrong this year."

He thinks about it a while, then says, "No Tris. I don't think I'll be wrong."

"Who do you think will jump?"

"I don't know. All I do know, is that there's always one who's too weak to take it."

I stop asking questions because his voice soothes me. I am now tired again, and I yawn. He chuckles, and brings his face closer to mine. There are only a few inches separating us. "I have to say." He whispers. "You're the best person I've trained for all of initiation."

He says it like it means more. And a small laugh comes out of my tired throat.

"Come here after your dinner with your parents? You can stay for the rest of initiation, day and night." He says.

I ponder about this. I know I'm not worried about getting caught, but I should be. But other things just seem to be more serious than me hanging with the Dauntless. My Divergence is one of them. I have to be more cautious, about being caught first off, and I need to know more about myself, but Tori refuses to tell.

I'm not worried of being caught. Abnegation isn't nosy. And I can say that I'll be assisting other factions with any thing they need for the next few days. My parents will believe that.

So I nod, and I sleep knowing tomorrow will be the day I can interact with my family.

* * *

_**I KNOW SUPER SUPER SHORT, YA DA YA DA YA DA.**_

_**SOME QUESTIONS PEOPLE HAD:**_

_**YES, THE WAR WILL HAPPEN IN THIS STORY.**_

_**YES, THERE WILL BE A PETER/TRIS CONFLICT**_

_**YES, I WILL ADD MORE OF AL.**_

_**I NEED TO ADD MORE SCENES WITH TRIS AND HER PARENTS HOWEVER. SHE DID CHOOSE ABNEGATION.**_

_**SO YEAH...**_

_**ALSO. THEY WON'T HAVE URIAH IN THE MOVIE. YOU KNOW URIAH: FELLOW DIVERGENT, MUFFIN SHOOTER, PERSON WHO BRIDGED THE GAP SO TRIS WAS ABLE TO BE FRIENDS WITH OTHER DAUNTLESS BORNS. YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHO HELPED HER GO ZIP LINING, AND WAS ON THE SAME TEAM AS HER FOR CAPTURE THE FLAG.**_

_**THEY WON'T HAVE HIM IN THE DIVERGENT MOVE.**_

_**BUT YOU KNOW WHO THEY WILL HAVE?**_

_**LAUREN.**_

_**WHO'S NAME IS MENTIONED, LIKE LESS THAN 5 TIMES IN THE BOOK. LAUREN.**_

_**THEY TOOK THE TIME TO FIND LAUREN...BUT NOT URIAH?**_

_**AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THIS ISN'T RIGHT?**_


	14. Chapter 14

I rest that morning, with a strange dream. It's been a while since I'd had one, and I thought it was just my brain too tired and confused to conjure up any.

I wake in a field. It is filled with flowers, yellow and red. The sky is a nice calming shade of blue, and there is a trail made up of gray stones. In the middle of the field, a few yards away from where I stand, is a well, with rusty black and white stones. I am wearing clothes that have a strange texture, like it is made out of coal. The set up look beautiful, in it's own odd way. I've never seen so many colors all at once in my whole life.

I am observing every detail of the place, when suddenly in the middle of a patch of the yellow and red flowers grows a huge tree, that looks exactly like the Amity symbol. I look up at the sky, and a huge eye looks down at me, like the symbol of Erudite. The black and white well reforms itself so it is now shaped like a tipped scale instead of a well, like the Candor symbol. A sudden earthquake occurs, and the rocks making the trail separate into the air, spinning rapidly until they stop, and it looks like the Abnegation symbol, facing me. I feel a sensation, starting in my feet at first, and then all over my body. I look down and see that my whole body is up in flames. My clothes that seemed to be made out of coal _was_ coal. I scream as the flames envelope me, and there is no water or anything, but I know that even if I were to find any, I would keep burning, until I became nothing but a pile of ashes. I screams as my coal shirt starts glowing of orange, and I look again painfully to see the coal shirt has the symbol of Dauntless flames, as the flames as the fire envelopes me. My knees crumble, and I fall, and the fire that was on my now burns the whole field, burning down the tree. The scale quavers and crumbles, and the sky turns purple and blue, and starts to rain, dissolving the eye. The abnegation symbol crushes into itself and falls, now just one huge rock, that gets bigger and bigger until it is mountain sized, where rocks and lava starts flowing out of it. I am still burning, and the rain seems to do nothing about it.

I wail as the scene flurries in my imagination. An earthquake, a lightning storm, a volcano erupting, and fire, all at once. I am in the middle of it.

I gasp awake, sweat or tears covering my cheeks.

"Tris?" I hear a voice say. I look around. There is no field, no sky, no well, and no trail. My clothes are what I wore to bed last night, not coal. I am in a small apartment. Four's apartment.

"Yes?" I croak, not knowing where he is. I look at my side, and there he is. Sitting on the floor, one knee bent, the other stretched across the floor. His head pokes out from the side of my mattress. He gives me a curious look. "You were crying in your sleep." He says. He is silently asking me to tell him what happened.

I shake my head, and stifle a sob. He sighs, frustrated. "Why don't you tell my anything?"

"You don't tell me anything either." I snap back, wiping the tears off my cheeks. "I don't know anything about you, not even your real name. Why should I tell you a thing?"

He glares at me silently, and color rushes in his cheek, and I glare back, not daring to look away from his gaze.

"We should probably go. It's almost seven, and we have to get you home by nine." He says, tearing his stare away from mine, and gets up from his floor, which he slept on.

I go into his bathroom, and rinse my mouth and splash my face with with cold water. looking into the mirror once I'm done. I am shocked to see myself, since I am never very conscious of things like my appearance, and mirrors aren't allowed in Abnegation.

I walk out, and when I come back, Four is leaning on the door to his apartment, with fresh clothes on. He tilts his jaw toward the door, and I follow him out toward the trains.

My parents are coming for dinner today. I have to clean my house, and cook dinner.

I won't see Dauntless until tomorrow. I have to do my job for Four.

I wonder suddenly, if I hadn't met Four on the train tracks that day, would it have been good for me or bad for me. Good since I would never have seen Dauntless.

Bad because it makes me want the life I never could have.

* * *

**Short, and bad, I know. I've had a writers block, we all have em, so chill. Summer's almost here, and I hate sunlight, so I guess I'll stay inside more often, which means more updates on my stories :3 I'm also thinking up more twists for the story, and well... the thing is, it's easy to think of stories, but harder to type it out, so I'm still working, anyway, this is just part one, so enjoy**


	15. Chapter 15

I arrive at the Abnegation sector after the train ride with Four, who was silent and still, glaring at the doorway of the cart the whole ride. I am dressed in gray, and had just finished hauling the bag of resources meant to go to the factionless, into the truck that distributes food for all the factions.

I also arrived to reports on Abnegation, courtesy of Erudite. Reports attacking my father, and the "real," reason why Caleb left. The Abnegation don't transfer very often, but whenever someone does, the Erudite take advantage, and blame Abnegation for child cruelty, instead of realizing the fact that maybe being selfless wasn't right for that individual.

It happened two years ago, when Marcus Eaton's son, Tobias, transferred to Dauntless. I haven't heard of him from my visits to Dauntless. He is probably factionless, since no Abnegation could possibly pass initiation there.

I could have tried.

The report talks about Caleb's rebellious act, switching to a faction that Abnegation opposed, and mentions how Caleb now spends his days engulfed in books and mathematical formulas. I wonder if he really is doing that, or if he is miserable for leaving us. I hope it is the former option.

There is also a mention of Robert, but it isn't to important. He transferred to Amity, which is the most similar to Abnegation out of the five. Or so the other faction see.

I walk back to my house, about to prepare my house, and dinner. I think back to the anklet my mother gave me. Will she want me to talk to her about it? Ask her questions? I don't know.

My house is a mess. I've been going to Dauntless to often. There is dust everywhere, and flies have swarmed the area. The absents of sunshine in the house makes the scene even more dreary than it already is. My laundry, filled with both black and gray clothes, piles over my hamper. The windows have rust all over them.

I get to work.

* * *

I scrubbed the windows, dusted every inch of surface, mopped the floor, vaccumed the carpet, made all the beds (since I live alone in a family house), did the laundry, cleaned the dishes, stocked up on Abnegation food, and set the table. I am now making dinner, potatoes, plain chicken breasts, peas, and bread. I put ice in the freezer, so my parents can be refreshed when they arrived, and I hi any evidence of Dauntless trips out of sight in the loose floorboard of my closet.

It only took my seven hours to do all of that, and my parents should be here in an hour. I sit on the couch staring at my coffee table, with my hand resting on my forehead. I heave a sigh. After tonight, I can let everything out to my parents, and then tonight, I can return to the Dauntless compound.

I must have fallen asleep, because my door knocks, and I get up off my couch drowsily, pat my hair down, and brush off my hands on my clothes. My parents are on the other side of the doorway. I nod my head respectfully toward them, my Abnegation habits returning.

But my Dad doesn't seem to care, because he steps in and wraps his arms around my neck. I hug him back, and I give another hug to my mother. "Come in?" I say smiling. This is why I stayed. To be with my family.

It's moments like this when I do not regret my choice.

We sit down, and I serve dinner to them, and I eat silently, since I am used to hearing my mother and father talking, and my and Caleb listening. Of course, there is empty chair to my side. My father is the first to talk. "Beatrice, when do you plan to get an official job?"

I look at him quizzically.

"You work at the volunteer agency in charge of giving recourses to the factionless, I know, but do you have plans for working in the government?" He asks, taking a sip of water.

I shrug. "If one opens up, I guess I would consider it." I say, lying. I would never want to work in a gray building, listening to all the complaints the factions give Abnegation.

He nods. I wonder if he knows my mother was once Dauntless.

_Of course he does _I think to myself. _Their married, stupid._

"I saw the reports. Have they given you any problems at work?" I ask, innocently.

Both their noses pinch. "Not from our own faction, no. But the other faction leaders have been rather pasturing, making other false conspiracies." He says, voice rising with anger. "They also pick on Marcus Eaton, and some push around Robert's father."

"You don't really think Caleb agrees with all this, do you?" I say facing my mother. He can't possibly."

"Of course not." She says gently. "He just believed in another choice, another lifestyle."

"Selfish of him." My father mummers. My mother gives him a look.

She coughs, and says, "Beatrice. Your father and I came for another reason too. We needed to ask you about your aptitude test."

I swallow my chewed up peas, and drink my cold water, which trickles down my throat. "What about them?"

"What did you really get, Beatrice." My father asks, his eyes filled with concern. His eyes, which are brown, plead for the truth. I wonder suddenly, where my eye color, a grayish blue, comes from. My mother's are green. Probably from one of their parents, and grandparent of mine.

I look at them both. I stayed for them, because I love them. I have to trust that they would never do anything to harm me. "They were inconclusive." I say. They both look like they expected this.

They know what it is, and what it means, more than I do.

"What does it mean?" I say not caring about the dinner I made. I look at them, wide eyed, and eager, thinking I might learn something important now.

My mother sighs. "We can't say Beatrice, just that it is very dangerous."

"Never tell anyone." Father says. "Understood?"

I nod, sullenly, knowing I can't talk back to my parents. But I know they both know something, and I know there is something else brewing that I don't know about yet.

But I know I will soon.

* * *

I arrive at the Dauntless compound that night. My parents had to leave an hour after they came, explaining that a lot of controversy is going on revolving around Abnegation and Erudite that needs to be discussed, and then left. They both gave me a kiss on my forehead on the way out.

An hour later, after doing the dishes and thinking about what contreversy could possibly be important enough for my Abnegation parents to leave at the end of dinner. Probably more rumors the Erudite has created, or more conspiracies, like how Abnegation supposedly is hoarding goods in a warehouse. I let my mind wander, and my hands stay submerged under the soapy water, where I dipped the last plate. When I put the plate on the rack, my finger tips are wrinkled, and pruny.

I dress in gray shirts and slacks, a few sizes bigger, so the black Dauntless clothing doesn't show underneath. I wait by the tracks, and as soon as a train comes by, I jump on. I now wear my mothers gift to me as a necklace, rather than as an anklet. It seemed logical to hide it in Abnegation, but if anyone asks were I got it in Dauntless, I'll just say I bought it at one of their stores.

I look out the window, wondering how life was without the factions, before the great peace. From my old faction history book, I know it can't be good. It was dangerous than, and supposedly safe now. But Tori told me Divergence was dangerous, and she said it in a way that sounded life threatening. What if the Faction leaders say that we're fine as we are with the factions, when really it's really not?

I shake the thought out of my head. My father is a faction leader. Even though I know he is one of many leaders in the faction system, if I can't imagine him as corrupt, than i won't think of the others as evil.

The Dauntless building comes to view again, and I jump off, and take the entrance and walk through the Pit to find Tori.

* * *

"Hey, Tris." Tori says giving me a smile. She is giving a tattoo to a large boy, who winces as the needle touches his skin. Al.

"Hi." I say. I wasn't expecting any customers, since it's around eight-o-clock now, and was hoping to talk to Tori again. I am not leaving until I get a straight answer.

Al smiles at me sweetly. I smile back, since it might be what Al needs. I heard that Dauntless initiation is hard to get through, and it is almost time for their final evaluation. Al might be tense, and my father says that you can always improve a persons mood my a small smile, or just being near them. I sit on the stool next to him.

"How have the simulations been?"

He shrugs, tense. "Terrifying, like there supposed to be."

"Two more days of simulations, a day break, and then the final evaluation." I say. "You can make it." I say, somewhat doubtful. Al has a soft face, the kind that makes you want to make sure he is okay, and not hurting. He doesn't strike me as the daring Dauntless.

"Hopefully." He says looking at my face. "Do you want to take a walk with me afterwards?"

"Can't," I say too quickly. "Four's supposed to be watching me. _Right_ Tori?"

"Yes, in fact, he's been expecting you for an hour. You should go." She says, saving me from alone time with Al.

"I have to talk to you first." I insist.

"We can meet up for breakfast tomorrow. I'll let Four know."

"Do you live with Four?" Al asks.

"No!" I shout, surprising Tori and Al. The sound of the tattoo needle going off. "I just...he's supposed to watch over me."

"Why?" He presses.

"Because I don't have room in my apartment for two, and her parents are faction ambassadors and are out of town." Tori fills in, her needle going on and drawing on Al again.

"You have parents that don't have time for you either, huh?" He says a nervous laugh gurgling from his throat.

"They do." I snap. "They have to work too, though. They love me, I know that much." I say, and it's the truth.

"Okay, okay." Al says. "Do you think we can walk tomorrow, after my simulations are done?"

"Sure." I say, not very sure of my answer. I think it wouldn't be good, but I have to do something tomorrow, instead of being around Four. That would be a little too suspicious. Al smiles, more to himself than to me.

"See you tomorrow, Tris."

* * *

I try finding Four, knowing he wouldn't be at his apartment so early. I walk and look everywhere, until I find him in the training room. Uriah and Zeke are there.

There's a brown bottle in each of their hands. I look at the bottles disapprovingly.

"Careful. She might shoot us with a pellet gun on our head to make us stop being alcoholics." Zeke slurs.

Four laughs, his deep voice vibrating me chest. "She might aim somewhere worse, too." I blush, knowing what he's talking about.

"Well, I better take Zeke back to his apartment." Uriah says. He's not drunk, just dazed. "Then I'm going to fall on my bed, and sleep till noon." They walk out, leaving me in a room with a drunk Four.

Uh oh.

The second the door closes, he places his bottle down on the table with guns, and he stalks toward me. I don't dare move, know realizing that he doesn't stumble in his step, and his eyes are focused. He's not drunk. Which is worse. He comes closer and close, and I start taking careful steps back, until I feel the cold wall of the training room. He places both of his hands on the wall next to my head, cornering me. My heart rate speeds up, and I feel a spark of electricity through my veins, like adrenaline. We are less than six inches apart. I can smell his breathe, which smells very faintly of beer. Why couldn't he drink more? Then at least I can run faster.

"What took so long?" He asks, with no emotion. "I was waiting for about an hour. I thought you had missed the train."

"I didn't." I say my voice shaking, nervously, not out of fear. "Mt parents left early, so I took my time getting ready. I relaxed for a little while, and then took a train here. Then I stopped at the Pit and talked to Tori and Al, and-"

"And Al?" Four asks starightening, so there is more than six inches between us now. I don't like the distance. "What did he ask?"

"If we could take a walk tomorrow after simulations."

He takes his arms off the wall, and folds them. "And of course, you said yes."

I nod, taking a step closer to him.

He sighs. " You know, he's absolutely smitten over you since capture the flag."

"What?" I ask astounded. "We barely even exchanged three hundred words to each other. And you're saying he's smitten over me?" I feel my cheeks red.

"I said he was smitten over you, not vise verse." He says looking at me curiously. "Your probably made his hopes too high."

I want to shout that _he's_ getting _my _hopes too high, bringing me to his apartment, inviting me over to stay with him in Dauntless for four days. But that would be admitting something to him, and I'm not ever going to be ready to tell him that.

"We're just going for a walk. Nothing going to happen. It's just a walk, and I can take care of my own problems. Why do you care-"

"Because I do, Tris!" He says, and I go silent. "I care because I just do!"

I hundred questions come to my head, and I don't know which one to ask.

He lets out a breath, and his dark blue eyes are fiercely set with determination. "I want to take you somewhere."

"Where?" I ask.

"To my fear landscape."

* * *

**Well, that's that! Heads up, I will change my name from "Divergentluver" to "The ZanyBookworm," but it's still me! Sorry I didn't update, My wifi wen't out, and my work was save to my computer and I got it back today!**


	16. Chapter 16

"You really want me to go in your fear landscape now?" I gape at him.

"We can go now, if you want." He says it like I have a choice, but I know I don't.

"Okay," I breathe out, and it comes out a whisper. I feel my heart beating in my fingertips and even my toes. I feel nervous, like he is about to show me something that he shouldn't.

I guess it doesn't matter, because he grabs my hand and leads me to the fear landscape room.

* * *

When we get there, there are two syringes ready for injection. "The system will take us to any person's landscape, which is now set through mine." He explains.

So this is why he was so anxious for me to come today, and why he felt disappointed until I came. He planned this beforehand. I look at the door ahead of me, and I grimace. The last time I went in here, my worst nightmares came haunting at every corner. If fear is like that for everyone, than I don't know how and why Four has the courage to walk through his worst nightmares again after experiencing them once, possibly more.

He holds up the syringe, and I tilt my head to better expose my neck. He walks around me, and I feel his warm breath, and then the needle piercing my skin. I feel the liquid in my veins, but it won't be taking my to my own nightmares this time. It is his turn to get the injection, and he hands me a needle.

"I've never done this before." I mumble nervously, like it's something to be embarrassed about.

"Right here." He points to his neck. I insert it slowly, my hands shaking, but he doesn't even wince.

"How many fears do you have?" I ask, once I'm done, and as he puts away the serum.

"You'll see." He says, opening the door. "Try and figure out why people call me 'Four',"

"What's your real name?" I ask, but I know I won't get an answer.

"See if that comes up, too." He says.

I am confused, and I don't know what to expect, but his words are like a brick hitting me in my head. I'm going to find out his real name? Why would his name be so important that it relates to his fear landscape? If his real name plays a part in his worst nightmares, it is no wonder he never tells anyone what it is.

The simulation hasn't even started yet, and he's getting me even more nervous than before.

"Have you ever administered the aptitude tests?"

"No. Why do you ask?" He says an arched eyebrow. I think it's an attempt to calm himself, since his fears will take affect in a few seconds.

"You say vague things, and you don't answer any questions, just like Tori did." I say a little irritated.

"Why would you need to ask questions about your aptitude test?" He asks.

I straighten. Of course, someone with a normal result would get a straight answer. Someone who didn't, like me, would have a lot of questions. I have to be careful, since I have no idea how dangerous my Divergence can be, and it can also get me caught in my Dauntless act.

Luckily, I don't have to answer his question, because the first fear appears. We are on top of a building. The Hub, I realize, and Four gasps at the sudden change of landscape. He puts his hand on my shoulder, and he breathes faster and faster.

He's afraid of heights. I already knew that. But this is higher than the Ferris Wheel was, and his eyes are wide, and and his hand shakes.

"Hey." I say. "It's okay, all we have to do is jump." I say in what I hope is a soothing voice.

He scoffs and says, "That easy, huh?"

I know what he means. It isn't as easy as it sounds, I'd know. Fear engulfs you into a deeper part of yourself that tries to rip though you. You just need the courage to fight it. Sometimes, it takes courage to trust someone with the most vulnerable part of you, like Four is doing now.

A little part of me melts.

I take his hand that is on my shoulder, and entwine my fingers with his. I look at him, his dark blue eyes, with a lighter shade of blue on the left iris. "I'll help." I manage to whisper out.

He gives me a stiff nod, and I run, and pull him with me. We're both sprinting, until we reach the edge, where gravity takes us, and we are suspended into air, nothing connecting us to safety.

I love the feeling of the air in my face, making my hair go wild and cutting my vision into strips. When we land, we fall on the ground hard, and Four gasps again.

I smile as I get up. Adrenaline courses through my body, and I feel alert, and I love it. "What's next?" I ask Four eagerly while offering my hands to help him up, knowing the next fear is one I don't know about yet.

"It's_-_" But he is cut of as something hard hits his back, and a second later, I am walls appear on all sides, and on top, sealing us in.

A growl and a groan escape him at once.

"Confinement." I say factually. The space between us is closing, but it must be terrifying to him, because his breath hitches. His breathing is heavy as our breathes mix.

This box can fit barely one person, yet alone two. He makes a sound that is filled with agony. He is panicked.

"It's okay." I say, in what is hopefully, a soothing tone. "Just calm down. If you're heartbeat slows, it forces into the next one, right?"

He nods stiffly, not talking. I slowly put my hand on his heart, but he doesn't flinch. His heartbeat however, is so fast it could beat the speed of light. His breathing hasn't gotten any better.

He won't calm down easily, so we'll have to try the other option. "We can't get out of here. So we'll have to make the space tighter." I say. He doesn't say a word. In fact, I think he's holding his breath now.

"I'll take that as a yes," I say after waiting for a response for a few seconds. I go closer to him, and place my palms on his waist. I hear him let out a another breath. He's still panicked. I pull him down with me, and the ceiling comes down with us. There would be no room for me to sit, so I am forced to turn. I sit curled up in front of him, sitting on his ankle, while his other knee is next to me. My head leans against his chest, where I feel his heart thudding even faster.

"This is worse." Four croaks. "This is definitely_-_"

"Shh." I say cutting him off cleanly. He doesn't need to think about the tight space. He has to forget about it. "Arms around me."

To my surprise, he does so obediently. I have to think of something. I have to make sure he goes to the next fear, but how, I don't know. We've tried both options, calming down, and making it worse.

We'll have to try option one again. "How about you tell me where this fear comes from?" I ask, my tone softer than I thought possible. "Talking about it might help."

He doesn't say anything for a long time, but then I hear his deep voice whisper. "Childhood. Whenever I did something wrong, in the smallest way, I got stuck in a closet. For hours."

My eyes widen. I never though something like that could happen. Factions were supposed to prevent all sorts of violence towards humanity, and yet here I am, with a boy, who fears closed spaces from bad experiences in childhood. Whenever I got in trouble, I skipped dinner, or did extra chores, but never have my parents physically abused me.

I ache for him, and try to say something random, that would take his mind off of things, maybe laugh. Yes, that's what I need, to try and make him laugh. "My mother put our winter coats in our closet."

"I don't..." His voice sounds strained. "I don't want to talk about it anymore." He breathes faster now.

I take his hand, and place it above my heart. "My heartbeat. Do you feel it?" I say, getting chills in this box, but it's not the closed space, it's the closeness of him.

"Yes." He manages to say.

"Feel how slow it is?"

"It's as fast as mine." He counters, and he sounds shocked.

"It's not because of the box." I say to assure him, but I just realized I admitted to something. I hope he doesn't dwell on the fact that my heart is faster because of him. I inhale a large amount of air and let it out. "Just breathe when I breathe." I say trying to ignore the fact that I am allowing him to be so close to me. Abnegation would be glowering at me right now.

My mind tries to find a time when I knew him where he seemed calm and amused. I try and think back to all the times when I saw his stupid smirk, or heard his teasing chuckle. The memory that comes to mind is when he was asking questions about myself, before I became a semi-Dauntless.

"Ask me something. I can talk." Though I'm not sure now, since I realized this is the closest I've been near him. I try not to squirm, knowing it wouldn't calm him.

"Anything?" He asks, and his voice sounds dark.

"Yes." I murmur.

"Fine." He laughs, and it doesn't sound forced. "Why's your heart beating so fast?"

I open my mouth. I can't tell him the truth, but I can't tell him a lie either. I think he has a theory now, of why I'm so...apprehensive. "Well...I'm crammed up in a box with a guy I barely know, Four. What do you think?" I add something else, something my brain doesn't process. "You know, most boys would enjoy being in closed quarters with a girl."

"Not people who are claustrophobic." He huffs defensively, not so scared anymore. "Stop changing the subject. I'm asking you questions."

Four sounds a little enthusiastic, being able to ask me things, and getting a straight answer. "Go on." I say noticing how his breathing is more controlled now.

"If we we're in your landscape, would I be in it."

"I'm not afraid of you."

"Of course not. But that wasn't what I meant." He chuckles, and it sounds natural, and soon the walls of the box fall open. I try to scramble to feet, embarrassed of what had just happened, while Four grumbles as he gets up.

He grins at me, and I see the annoying smirk playing on his lips. I wonder if he always smiles like that, to everyone, or is it reserved just for me? I shake the thought out. I am an Abnegation girl, small, fragile looking, and too selfish for my faction. He is a Dauntless boy, attractive, brave, and what a perfect Dauntless is supposed to be.

"You should be in Candor." He observes. "You're lieing skills are terrible."

"My aptitude test took that out pretty well."

He scowls, but he still looks like he is thinking hard about something. "That test tells you nothing."

"What are you trying to tell me? That the test wasn't what made you switch faction?" I ask. Maybe this is the part where I find out something I wanted from Four.

"No. And relax will you? My fear landscape isn't done yet. You'll find out what you wanted soon enough," He says it casually, but the way he shudders, I know it's an act.

I wipe my hands on my jeans, trying not to feel too disappointed. "What's next?"

"It's..." But he is cut off by the click of a bullet entering a chamber. A woman with a plain face stands a few feet away. I could walk away, and never remember her again, even though her gun points at us. A table appears, with another gun on it.

"Oh." I say, somewhat understanding what it is. "You have to..."

"Every time." Four growls, more to himself than to me. Every time, he said. He must go through this simulation on a regular bases.

"She's not real." I tell Four, reminding him.

"Try saying that when she starts bleeding." He says glaring at me, coldly, but I think it's to distract himself. He doesn't react to this like he did to the others. This fear isn't about any harm to him. It is about harming others, something I never thought possible for Four.

He lets out an exhale of air that his was holding in. "It's fine...this one isn't..." He pauses as if thinking about what this means for him. "It's not so bad." He decides.

He takes the gun, clicking a single bullet in place. He doesn't need anymore, with his bull's eye perfect aim. His hands shake over the trigger, but he closes his eyes and squeezes.

The gun drops to the floor the same time as the woman. Her head has a single bullet in the middle of her forehead. He was right. I can't say she wasn't real with the blood pouring from her wound. Four looks at the woman, a distant look in his eye. I grab his arm. "C'mon." I say, a little rattled. "Keep moving."

A door appears, and h\e shake even more as his hand hovers over the knob. He grasps it, and turns it roughly, as if he's trying to get over it quickly.

When we walk through, the room is empty, and dark. One light shines from the middle, but where it comes from, I don't know, but we stand in it. I look at Four and he stares dead ahead, but he must know I'm looking at him confusingly. "This is the part...where you find out what you wanted to know."

I've wanted to know his name, and why he is called Four, for so long, but the way he stands now, still as a statue, I regret pressuring him to tell me. His posture is straight, and his face looks cold, like it should be around other people, but it molds into a smile with me. The look on his face, it looks forced, and he clenches his fingers to his palm to stop them from shaking.

I look where he is looking, and my own eyes are wide open. Standing across from us, is Marcus himself. There is a snake-like, leather rope around his hand. A belt.

"This is for your own good." He says ignoring me and stalking toward Four.

"Is he..." I ask in shock. I remember the Erudite report my parents told me about today. It said something about Marcus, and his son leaving for the Dauntless because of his cruelty. I assumed his son became factionless, but now I note how they both have the same eye color, though Four's are kinder, and the same color of skin. Not Four, I remind myself. "Tobias." I whisper.

He winces, either from me saying his name or from Marcus as he takes another step. It appears the Erudite where right with the reports. Suddenly, a dozen more Marcus's appear, and take aim. The one Tobias stares at raises his hand, and the belt becomes loose. Tobias flinches, expecting a hit to the face, but it doesn't come to him.

I step in front of him, and the belt wraps around my wrist and burns, but I ignore it. I pull it, and grab the end, whipping it back and striking Marcus as hard as I can. He hisses, and his arms outstretch like he is going to choke me, but Tobias comes in front of me before I, myself, can react.

It all happened so fast.

Tobias growls, ferocity in his eyes, and a sneer on his mouth. The sound makes cold creep in my spine. Then the scene falls and all we are left with is the cement in the fear landscape room.

"That's it?" I ask bewildered. "That's all your afraid of? Why do you have only four...oh." I say. It isn't the first time i said that two letter word since meeting Four. "That's why..."

I look back at Four_-_Tobias_-_and he gives me a look. It has no stupid smirk, or a cold glare. It's a look with parted lips, and innocent eyes. His body is limp, like it is too heavy for his frame. He looks at me with awe. Then he does the unthinkable. He grabs my shoulders and drowns me in a hug. I stand stiffly at fist, then relax, and embrace him back. He breathes in the scent of my neck, and I feel the warmth of his exhale in return. I close my eyes and enjoy his scent as well. He smells of fresh minty air, and sea mist.

"It's okay. We got though it." I say.

"You got me through it." He corrects.

I don't know how to respond, so we stay in the tight embrace in the fear landscape room for a long time. He pulls back, and once again holds my palm against his, holding my hand. "Follow me." He says.

"Where now?" I ask. I feel selfish. He's already told me so much, and yet he insists on showing me more.

"A place for us to relax." He says. "I have something else to talk to you about."

* * *

_**THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! I GOT LIKE, 20, FOR THE LAST CHAPTER! :O**_

**I NEED HELLLPPPPP!** **I AM FACED WITH A HUGE DILEMMA!** **HERE ME OUT!** **SOO:My dad won't make 2 rounds to the bookstore on the same month, and as we all know, House of Hades comes out October 8th, and Allegiant comes out October 22, so my dad said he'd just buy both of them October 22...** **But then I'll have to choose...which to read first?!** **I can read 2 books in a day (happened with city of ashes and city of glass), but the 22nd of October is a school day, so I'll be limited to choosing ONE.** _**H.E.L.P.**_


	17. Chapter 17

"Four fears." I say. "Pretty impressive."

"Four fears since initiation, and four fears now." He says softly. "I go back there every now and then, hoping for a change in things, but as you now know, they haven't changed for the past two years."

I nod, but I am too busy focusing on how he is built. He has muscles on his forearms, but I don't think he's too built on strength. He's more fit for speed, and I can tell he thinks a lot about things, assessing before acting. He can be bold, as well as a genius in strategy. He isn't sweet or kind, but he is brave and compassionate. He isn't gentle, but I wouldn't be friends with him if he were. He doesn't underestimate me like Will, Al, and Christina do, but he seems to understand that even people who are strong need help, unlike Marlene, Uriah, and Lynn who seem to think that depending on someone or something is cowardice.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks tilting his head. His eyes skim my nose, my lips, and my chin.

_You _I want to say, but I can't bring myself to get the words out, so I shrug and say, "Just how much has changed since since the aptitude test," _Since I found out about Divergence._

"Hmm," He says. "Since the aptitude test, or since meeting me?"

I feel my face get hot, but I hope it isn't visible at this hour. We walk across the Pit, and he holds my hand. His thumb runs along my palm and I feel a pleasant shudder go down my spine. It is his way of telling me to answer his question. "A little bit of both," I say and hope he didn't notice my voice crack.

He laughs. Not an infuriating chuckle. An actual laugh. "That's the third time we talked about those tests tonight."

"Where are we going?" I ask, to change the subject.

"Somewhere secret," He tilts his head to look at me. "I figure you want to ask me some things, and the fear landscape room didn't seem like the right setting,"

We are near the chasm, and I can't help but be mesmerized by the water as it clashes with rock, spraying white water all over the place. He leads me behind a rock, where the current is still strong, but the rocks are flat, so it is easier to sit. He grasps my elbow and sits, pulling me down with him. He stares at me expectantly, and I remember he thinks I have questioning for him.

"What were your aptitude results?" I ask. He seems so complex, so different from other Dauntless, that I wonder if he too is Divergent. If he is, I can ask him what it is and what it means, and if he'll help me find out the danger I am in if anyone finds out.

He frowns. "Is it really relevant?"

"Yes," I say scowling at him. "I want to know,"

"Your very persistent," He observes, leaning closer. I feel his warm breathe on my face and I close my eyes, instinctively. "I like that,"

I gulp, and say, "Your evading the question."

Four laughs nervously, pulls away, than sighs. "Abnegation,"

I sulk, hoping for a different answer. Than curiosity sparks in me. "Yet you chose Dauntless,"

He fidgets with his fingers, staring at his palms. "I figured if I were to leave him, I might as well choose a faction where the morals are somewhat similar,"

I look at him confused. "How are selflessness and bravery close to each other?"

"Think about it," He says. "You are a bit of both yourself. We all are. It's when your acting selflessly when you are at your bravest. It's your instinct to stand up for someone in the midst of danger."

I huff. "Well, I'm not very selfless you know."

"Lies," he looks at me sternly. "You climbed a Ferris wheel to help your team. You stood up to my father in a simulation to defend me. Hell, you chose another faction to spare your parents more sadness! Do you really think your not selfless, or brave for the matter?"

I stare at him, and he stares down at me. His words seem rehearsed, like he went through them in his head a thousand times before saying them. "You've been thinking about this for a long time, haven't you?"

He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear, and his index finger carefully, but fiercely, wraps around my chin. He jerks his finger upward, forcing me to look at him. "Your all I ever think of," He says, mumbling. "What you think of me," A kiss on my forehead. "Why you trust me," A kiss on my cheek. I am too surprised to react. He presses his forehead with mine.

"I trust you because I know you won't hurt me," I say looking at his deep blue eyes, like how the sky looks before it becomes too dark. "I think your smart, how you try thinking of different ways to face a challenge. I like how you face problems head on. It makes you brave. It makes you bold." I don't register what I say. My mouth has lost it's filter, and my mind can only think of how close he is now, and how much closer I want him.

I feel his forehead scowl on my own. "Even though you know about Marcus? You don't think leaving makes me weak?"

"Your not weak," I defend. "You had to go. You didn't have a choice, Four, and anyone who knows about it should understand that."

"Don't call me that," He blurts out, "I want to hear you say my name again."

"Tobias," I correct.

He leans forward, just a few centimeters, but it is enough for him lips to brush my own. I gasp as he presses his lips to mine, and I feel his finger move from my chin. I wrap my arms around his neck as his own grasp my waist. I have never been kissed by a boy before, so I don't know how well I'm doing, but it doesn't seem to matter to him, so we continue.

We kiss for what seems like hours, but it could have been seconds. I don't know-time is endless here in Dauntless. He pulls back, a smile plastered on his face.

"I'm glad your staying here for a few days," He whispers.

"Why?" I ask.

He cradles my head with his palm. "Because, it means we have time to practice that again." And his mouth is on mine again. We stay that way, his hands on my hips, my fingers tugging his hair lightly, and when we rise, hand in hand, I think about the possibilities I could have had if I had left my family.


End file.
